


Pranktober

by blarkeontheark



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Marauders, but i changed the title so good luck finding it, i wrote this when i was fifteen and it's still the best thing i've ever written, jily, the marauders prank war fic you've all been waiting for, wolfstar, yes this is on wattpad, you will never find my awful wattpad profile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:53:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 21,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blarkeontheark/pseuds/blarkeontheark
Summary: For seventh years James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, October only means one thing (and it's not Halloween, or the first month in six years the full moon comes out twice, or Fail At Asking Out Lily Evans Week): The annual Marauder Prank-Off. And this year, James has bet the group ten Galleons that by the end of the month, Lily Evans will be his girlfriend. Meanwhile, Remus and Sirius struggle to work through their feelings for one another.





	1. Wake Up Call

"Oi! Moony!"

Remus Lupin groaned, glancing at his watch. It was 5:43 in the morning.

"James—"

"Moony, you know what day it is."

"Yeah, it's the day after the full moon. I'm tired. Let me sleep."

"Mate, this is important." James leaned forward. "It's October 2nd."

"Yeah. Is this that week you ask out Lily Evans like three times a day until she hits you in the face with a book?"

"That's next week," James said. "Moony, it's October. How could you forget?"

It finally clicked into Remus's brain. "Oh, no," he grumbled.

"Oh, yes." James yanked the blankets back. "Rise and shine, Moony. This year, I will dominate the Prank-Off."

"I'm not participating," Remus said firmly.

"Yeah, I know, you're the moral code, Peter's the cheerleader, and Padfoot's my nemesis."

"You better watch your mouth, Prongs," Sirius said sleepily from across the room. "You won't know what hit you."

"I'm going to win," James said furiously, heading over to open the window. "I'm going to—"

As he pushed it open, a torrent of icy water poured down on his head, soaking his pajamas and splashing all over the floor. Peter gave a loud gasp, Sirius hooted, and Remus groaned.

"What were you saying?" Sirius said pleasantly. "I know you're freezing, but I'm just warming up—"

But as he slid out of bed, he suddenly lost his footing as the entire bed disappeared. He landed on the floor where it had been, glaring up at James.

"Don't know what you're talking about," James grinned.

"Who won?" Peter squealed, barely containing his excitement. "Moony, who won?"

Remus rolled his eyes at his two best friends in front of him, one dripping wet and one covered in dust. "Extra points to Padfoot for the first prank of the month, but James, that was a good bit of magic. Wormtail, what do you think?"

Peter turned a shade of violet that Sirius thought might he his favourite color. "I—I don't know—"

"Alright. Padfoot, ten points. James, seven points. Peter, can you get that down?"

"On it!" Peter squeaked, diving for a notepad.

"Ha!" Sirius threw his arms up triumphantly. "I win this round. And every round."

"Only because you didn't even get out of bed, you lazy mutt—"

"Can you guys go back to sleep?" someone complained. "It is six in the morning—"

"Sorry!" Peter immediately apologized.

"We are not sorry!" James bellowed. "It's Pranktober!"

"Merlin save me," someone else muttered.

"Let's go!" James quickly dressed, then headed down to the common room, the rest of the boys in tow. "Prank-Off! Prank-Off! Prank-Off! Prank-Off! Prank-Off—"

"Excuse me."

James glanced up from where he was jumping on the couch. Lily Evans stood at the foot of the stairs, still dressed in white pajama shorts and an oversized t-shirt, red hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, face creased with sleep. "What in the name of Merlin is going on down here?"

"Morning, Evans," James grinned sheepishly, jumping off the couch and landing on the floor in front of her.

"Some of us are trying to sleep," she snapped. "But you and your blubbering band of buffoons are making that difficult."

"Hey," Remus said mildly.

"I mean Potter and Black," she clarified. "And Peter, to some extent." She glared at them with sleepy green eyes. "No more yelling, jumping, or singing, or McGonagall hears about this."

"Ooh," Sirius mocked. "You're just terrifying—"

"Hey, Evans," James pleaded. "Won't you join in this year? You'd like to see me win, wouldn't you?"

"I'd like to see you fed to the giant squid," Lily said, and marched upstairs.

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "Bad luck, mate."

"Why does she hate me?" James asked no one in particular.

"She doesn't hate you," Peter offered. "She just...dislikes you. Very much."

"Thanks, Wormtail. You always know just what to say."

"He's being sarcastic," Sirius whispered to a confused-looking Peter.

James huffed. "I'll win her over. You guys watch. By the end of the month, she'll love me."

Three skeptical faces.

"You said that last year," Remus reminded him.

"This year I mean it." James stood up. "I bet you all ten Galleons that by the end of October, she will be my girlfriend."

Sirius stood up. "You're on."

Peter looked anxious.

"Ten Galleons? I'm in," Remus said. "I can help you out a bit but she's never going to go out with you."

Peter sighed. "I'm in."

James grinned from ear to ear, flopping on the sofa next to Remus. "I'm going to have thirty Galleons, Lily Evans as my girlfriend, and I'll be the Prank-Off champion," he declared. "I love October."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "In your dreams, mate."

"We'll see about that."


	2. Lacewing Flies

James Potter was out to win this year's Prank-Off, but never let it be said that he would resort to cheating. So when Peter asked if he needed any help, he just shook his head.

"Have you got any plans today?" Peter asked as they walked to Potions, scurrying to keep up with James's longer legs.

James grinned, pulling the Snitch he always kept with him out of his pocket and tossing it up in the air. He grabbed and pocketed it quickly as Professor McGonagall passed. "Maybe. I can't tell you, Wormtail. Can't risk that you'll accidentally go blab to Padfoot."

"I will not," Peter huffed.

"You're supposed to be neutral, anyway." They rounded the corner, spotting Slughorn standing outside the entrance to the Potions classroom. Ahead of him, James could see Lily, red hair bobbing in a much neater ponytail than it had been in that morning.

"I am neutral," Peter said. "I'm going to ask Padfoot the same question. And you're not even listening to me, you're ogling Lily Evans again, which means I'm not going to have a partner in Potions today, because you know Remus and Sirius will—"

James's hand shot out out, covering Peter's mouth. "Do me a favor and be quiet," he said. "Yes, I'm going to sit with her. Thirty Galleons, remember?"

Peter sighed. "She's never going to go for you."

"We'll see about that," James said confidently, striding into the classroom. "Hello, Professor Slughorn. Hey, Evans."

"Don't even think about it," Lily said frostily, but James dropped into the seat next to her, hair rumpled and grinning.

"Oi, Potter." Sirius's voice floated across the room. "Brushed your hair recently?"

"More recently than you've cut yours," James fired back.

Lily stared at her Potions book, trying to hide a smirk. Peter clapped his hands once, then dove into his book with a barely concealed squeak.

"Settle down," Slughorn said, shutting the door with a bang. "And turn to page 78 in your book, we're covering Polyjuice Potion today. You'll all be taking a Potions N.E.W.T., which we have discussed, and this will be on it. Now, can anyone tell me what Polyjuice Potion does?"

Lily's hand shot into the air so fast it almost knocked James's glasses off. Over at the next table, Peter reached over to give her a high-five, but slipped and fell out of his chair.

"Nice one," James laughed.

Lily gave him an ugly look.

"Yes, Miss Evans?" Slughorn glanced at the calendar, looking physically pained when he saw the date. 

"Polyjuice Potion is a substance which, when you add something from a person such as a piece of hair or a toenail clipping, allows you to physically transform into that person for a period of one hour by drinking it," Lily said all in one breath.

"Nerd," Sirius stage-whispered.

"I thought it was impressive," James said loudly. Lily swung an elbow at him, forcing him to duck.

Slughorn rolled his eyes skyward. "Thank you, Miss Evans, quite right. Now, we're not going to be attempting Polyjuice Potion, but I will ask you to make something else. Flip to page 42 of your books and, with your partner, make the potion listed there." He lumbered over to his desk with a stack of papers and a quill and sat down, presumably grading them.

Lily flipped to the page in her book. "Hiccuping Solution," she mumbled. She turned her gaze on James. "You had better do some of the work, Potter."

James scrambled to his feet. "Yes. Definitely." He quickly set his cauldron on the table. "What's the first thing to do?"

Lily regarded him with mild surprise. "Um...gather some lacewing flies, and a couple of burdock roots," she said. "I'll light the fire."

"Got it." James walked around the tables, weaving between them, bumping Sirius on the shoulder. He glanced behind him, noting that Lily was watching him.

"Lily's looking at you," Remus whispered, passing James a few burdock roots.

"I know," James grinned. "Isn't it great?"

Remus shook his head. "It's only because you're not acting like a complete arse for once. Don't ruin it."

James shook his head in mock indignation, grabbing a couple of lacewing flies. "I resent that—"

There was a yell, and James turned to see Sirius jump backwards as his cauldron dissolved and his potion spilled all over the floor. James suppressed a grin as Sirius sent him a murderous look.

"I take it back," Remus said. "You are acting like a complete arse."

"You can't prove that was me," James said quickly.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "No points for you, then?"

James scoffed. "I mean, she can't prove it was me. I want points for that."

Remus closed his eyes and sighed. "You get six, because that was petty. You can do better than that."

"Excellent." James gathered his ingredients and went to rejoin Lily.

"James Potter, that was ridiculous," she said. "Just when I start to have a little faith in you—"

"You have faith in me?" James said quickly. 

"No." Lily slammed her book on the table savagely, her cheeks coloring.

"Lily..."

Lily's eyes widened, and she gave James a reproachful look.

"Evans," James corrected. "It's just a thing we do...you know that...every October..."

"It's childish."

"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me the weekend before Halloween?"

Lily blinked in surprise. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to." She gave the cauldron a clockwise stir. "Lacewing flies, please."

James scooped up the flies and dumped them in. "Evans, give me a chance." 

Lily took a deep breath and shook her head. "No, Potter. I won't go with you."

"I'll stop the pranks," James swore. "I'll quit and leave the competition if you go out with me."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "You? Quit Pranktober? That's likely."

"I would."

Lily pressed her lips together, suppressing a smile.

"You'll go with me?"

"No," Lily said.

"Evans!"

Lily burst out laughing, and then quickly composed herself. "Potter, I'm sorry, I don't like you that way. In fact, I barely like you at all."

James sighed dramatically. "Fine. Fine. Be that way."

Lily looked as if she were about to say something else, but she studied James as he read the next step of the potion.

"James," she said, then stopped talking.

James glanced up at her. "Lily."

She shook her head. "Nothing."


	3. A Disgusting Amount of Syrup

"You look possessed," Sirius said.

They were hanging out in the common room after dinner, and there were a gaggle of students talking and laughing. Remus was sitting in a chair by the fire, long legs stretched out in front of it, and Sirius was sprawled on the arm of the chair, shoulder pressed against Remus's, one ankle overlapping with his shin. James was leaning against the wall of the fireplace, and Peter was cross-legged on the floor in front of them.

"Earth to Prongs," Remus called. "Stop staring at Lily."

"She's gorgeous," James breathed.

Remus sighed. "She's not into you."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Peter said. They all looked at him in surprise; rare was the subject on which Peter did not agree with them. "She was looking at him a lot in Potions—"

"Yeah, because he looked like he'd just rolled out of bed," Sirius interjected, "hair flat on one side and sticking up on the other."

"You're one to talk about hair," Remus murmured.

"Ahem," Peter said. "And during History of Magic, they were passing notes—"

"That was actually just James passing notes to Lily, and Lily throwing them in the trash without looking at them," Sirius corrected.

"She wrote me one back," James said, sounding injured.

"Oh yeah? What did it say?"

"It said, 'Stop writing me notes or I will hex you.'"

"You're absolutely right, that's true love," Sirius said. "Do continue, Wormtail."

"And," Peter continued, as if he hadn't been interrupted, "in Transfiguration, she was practicing spells with him."

"She was trying to Transfigure him into a fly," Remus pointed out.

"She was paying attention to him," Peter pronounced. "If you ask me, I think she likes him."

"We didn't, really," Sirius mumbled.

"I, for one, value Wormtail's opinion," James announced. "Thank you, Peter."

Peter looked thrilled. "No problem."

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Okay. What's the point total today?"

Remus glanced at Peter, who dug out his notepad. "James is just barely in the lead, twenty-six points to twenty," he announced. "Sirius executed two ten-point pranks; James executed four mediocre pranks."

"My pranks were not mediocre," James interjected.

"Yes they were," Sirius said.

"Shut up." James stabbed a finger at Remus. "You're biased."

"I am not biased," Remus said indignantly.

"Yes you are, you're in love with Sirius and you're biased," James said. "I vote we get someone else to judge."

Remus's mouth dropped open. "I am not in love with Sirius!"

Sirius pointedly looked away.

James waved a hand. "One of you is in love with the other. Either way, biased. Hey, Evans!"

Lily, who was doing her homework in the corner, glanced up. "Potter, if this is about Pranktober, you can shove it up your—"

"Never mind, Lily," Remus called, glaring at James. "I'll handle the nitwit."

"He's not a—" Lily stopped, then glanced at her papers. "He's…sort of a nitwit...thank you, Remus, I appreciate that."

Blushing furiously, she went back to her homework, scribbling rapidly on the parchment, almost upsetting her ink bottle.

James gave a satisfied smile, leaning back against the fire. "What's that you were saying about her not being into me?"

"I think my point's proven sufficiently," Peter intoned.

Sirius shrugged. "Guess we'll see."

"Guess we will."

 

............

 

"Morning, Evans."

James swung into the seat next to her at breakfast, snatching a waffle from the tray in front of him and dousing it in syrup.

"That is a disgusting amount of syrup," Lily commented.

James raised an eyebrow. "I don't take opinions from people who put butter on their waffles."

"Butter makes it better."

"Clearly it's making you bitter."

Lily gave a quick laugh, as if he'd surprised the amusement out of her. "Well played, Potter."

James forked his waffle, concentrating intently on the syrup pooling in the corners. "You know you can call me James," he offered. 

"Oh?" The corners of her mouth curved up ever so slightly, and James couldn't suppress a smile.

"Mmhm." James took a giant bite of waffle.

"I think I'll stick to Potter."

"Your loss."

She looked away, but James swore he'd seen a smile spread across her face. But when she turned back a second later, her face was completely blank.

"What's the latest of Pranktober?" she asked. "Any casualties? Expulsions? I haven't seen Sirius yet this morning."

"Well, I got him today by replacing all of his clothes with girls' clothes, and honestly I'm just waiting for his retaliation," James said, spearing another bit of waffle. "But I thought you weren't interested in Pranktober."

"I'm not," Lily said, flushing slightly. "I was making polite conversation."

"How's this for polite conversation?" James directed his gaze down the table, and Lily followed it, to where Sirius had just arrived at the table and he and Remus were deep in conversation. "I think Remus is in love with Sirius and he's totally biased as a judge."

"Did you honestly just figure that out?" Lily inquired.

"Huh?"

"Remus and Sirius have both been in love with each other since...oh, second year? And they've never said a word to each other about it, honestly." Lily picked up an apple off the table and took a bite. "They'll figure it out."

"Have you ever met Remus? They are not going to figure it out," James said emphatically. 

"Yeah, maybe." Lily took another bite of her apple, looking slightly worried. "If push comes to shove, we can just lock them in a room and tell them to kiss."

James barked a laugh. "Pretty and funny. And I'm both of those things, too. So why won't you go out with me again?"

Lily rolled her eyes skyward. "Honestly, James Potter, do you ever talk about anything else?" She stood up and grabbed her bag, shoving her chair out of the way and stalking out of the Great Hall.

"Shit," James groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"What'd you do?" Peter asked.

"I asked her out."

Peter snorted. "She's not going to say yes. You have to let her do the asking out."

James lifted his head. "But next week's Ask Out Lily Evans Week!"

"You should skip it this year," Peter advised.

"You're only saying that because if she says yes, you'll owe me ten Galleons," James accused.

"No, I won't," Peter said smugly. "You said if she was your girlfriend by the end of the month. I think you'll go out to Hogsmeade and you'll piss her off and she'll leave. So I'm going to help you as much as you want."

James rubbed his forehead. "Damn you. Okay. So I'm not doing Ask Out Lily Evans Week. That sucks, because I had some really awesome things planned—"

"Do mine ears deceive me?" Sirius announced, sliding into the chair next to Peter. "James Potter is skipping Ask Out Lily Evans Week? Did you finally grow some common sense?"

"Nah, Wormtail beat it into me," James said.

Sirius grinned, tilting his chair back on two legs and brushing his dark hair out of his eyes. "That sounds about right."

Remus gave him a shove, and he almost toppled backwards. "Come on. We're going to be late for Transfiguration, and you know McGonagall doesn't wait."

"I'm sitting next to Lily," James said immediately.

The other three just shook their heads.


	4. Just Kiss Already

Day seven of the Prank-Off, and Sirius was winning, one hundred and seven points to ninety-nine.

"I've got to pull off two amazing pranks in a row to get ahead," James pleaded. "Help me. Please. You are smarter than I'll ever be. You could help me win this entire thing with your brains—"

"The thing is, James Potter, I don't care about this stupid Prank-Off," Lily said sternly.

"But don't you care about me?"

A boy with untamed black hair and a long hooked nose walked by just then, brushing James's shoulder in the hallway on his way past.

"Oi, Snivellus!" James shouted. "Watch where you're going."

"Shut your mouth, you disgusting filth," Severus snarled. "You and the Mudblood."

James whipped out his wand at the exact time Severus did. 

"Expelliarmus!"

"Tarantallegra!"

Severus's wand was blasted out of his hand, and James easily deflected the jinx.

"Potter!" Lily shouted.

"Lily," Severus said, scrambling to his feet. "Lily, wait...I'm sorry. I—"

"Let's go," James said, linking an arm through Lily's and pulling her away. "He's not worth it, Evans, he isn't."

Lily let out a shaky breath. "James..."

They walked outside. James directed them to a bench and sat down next to her, facing her with serious hazel eyes.

"You are smart, and beautiful, and talented," he said. "Severus Snape insulted you horribly, and he is not worth your time. You should be around people who care about you. People who won't call you awful things, or look down on you when they should be looking up to you."

Lily shook her head. "Are you saying this because it's Ask Out Lily Evans Week?"

"I'm not doing that this year," James said.

Lily looked up, her eyes meeting his. "What? Why not?"

"It's not like you're going to say yes," James said. "I can always hope, but I'm done asking. I care about you, okay? Whether you go out with me or not."

"Thanks."

James nodded.

"But I'm still not going out with you."

James shrugged. "Let me know when you change your mind."

Lily snorted. "Come on. Let's get to class."

 

............

 

Sirius was shocked when James and Lily walked into Transfiguration together, talking quietly. Peter shot Sirius a smug look from where he sat with Marlene McKinnon.

Remus glanced at James and Lily, who slid into a pair seats near the front with no objection from Lily. "We're all going to be out ten Galleons," he predicted. "I may try to back out of the bet."

"That's against code, Moony," Sirius said. "Not that I'd want to back out. I think he's going to mess up."

On the other side of the room, Lily laughed quietly. James grinned, never taking his eyes off her face.

"Do you really?" Remus shifted his weight as McGonagall faced the front of the room.

"Potter, Evans, I trust I don't need to remind you that this is a N.E.W.T. class," she said coldly. Lily flushed and sat up straight, ignoring James.

"Take out your wands. We're going to continue where we left off today, by picking a spell to use on your partner and attempting it until you've mastered it."

"Okay," Sirius said, when the room was abuzz with chatter. "You're going to try to shorten my hair again, I assume?"

Remus shrugged. "I guess. I mean, unless you don't want me to."

"I trust you." Sirius stood up. "You're the best wizard in our year."

Remus shook his head. "Lily's better than me."

"I said wizard, not witch," Sirius grinned. "No, really, Moony. I trust you not to leave me bald or something equally terrible."

"I cannot say the same about you," Remus said, digging through his bag for his wand.

"Oh? You don't trust me?"

Remus looked up, and their eyes locked.

"I didn't say that."

Sirius quirked a smile. "Good."

"Oi!" James yelled across the room. "Just kiss already!"

"Detention," McGonagall started furiously, but Sirius laughed.

"James," Lily scolded, but James turned his bright smile on her and she just shook her head ruefully.

"Why don't you guys kiss already?" Sirius shouted back.

McGonagall threw her hands up and stalked away. "Another word, Mr. Black, and it'll be detention for you, too. Separate detentions," she added, as Sirius opened his mouth again. He closed it, looking disappointed.

James sighed and picked up his wand, then dropped it with a yell. The wand had transformed into a rubber chicken that squawked loudly as it landed on the floor. Sirius let out a roar of laughter, and wove between the desks to high-five Lily.

"You did this?" James asked, incredulous, as Sirius returned to his seat to get yelled at by McGonagall.

"I did," Lily answered, not looking up, fiddling with her wand. 

James lunged forward, wrapping his arms around her, lifting her up in a hug. 

"James! Put me down, James Potter."

James set her on the floor, shaking with laughter. "Lily, you are the most stubborn—" He broke off, shaking his head.

"What?" Lily asked softly. 

James grinned. "You are truly an amazing person, Lily Evans."

Across the room, Remus glanced at Sirius. "Still think he's going to mess up?"


	5. The Other Moony

James was exhausted.

He'd gotten Sirius with a little magic help from Remus, transfiguring his hair to a very short cut in the morning (and fixing it, of course), and he'd replaced his Potions essay with lyrics to "A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love", but Sirius had hidden his Nimbus 77 and replaced it with a Shooting Star Six, the kind of broomsticks that only rise about two feet off the ground and go about one kilometer per hour. Remus had awarded him eight points for the hair and ten points for the essay, but he'd given Sirius nine points for the broomstick, so now the rankings were 117 for James to 116 for Sirius.

So that was why he was getting up at 3:00 in the morning and sneaking down to Sirius's usual seat at breakfast to put a bit of Polyjuice Potion he'd nicked from Slughorn's stores in Sirius's goblet, with a lock of Remus's hair. Just enough to get them through breakfast, but a small enough amount that it should wear off before their first class.

And was he really out of bed too late, when he'd actually just gotten up very early?

"Prongs."

James gave a start and glanced up. "What?"

"You've got a thousand-yard stare." Sirius took a bite of his eggs. He hadn't picked up his goblet of pumpkin juice yet, James noticed. "What's up with you? Lily's sitting over there."

James shook his head. "Nothing's up with me."

"Liar. You're planning something," Peter accused.

James winked.

Sirius aimed a finger at him, taking a swig from his goblet. "This better not be another ten-point—"

He broke off, gasping.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked urgently. "Sirius! Sirius?"

Sirius gave another rattling gasp and suddenly his hair was lightening, pulling into his scalp, he was growing taller and thinner, his skin tone growing more pale, scars appearing on his hands and face. Suddenly, James and Peter were staring at an identical copy of Remus.

Remus turned a furious glare upon James. "You moron," he hissed.

"What..." Sirius stared at his hands. "What just happened?"

"James," Remus said through clenched teeth, "apparently Polyjuiced you into me."

Sirius stared at Remus for a moment, then gave a hoot of laughter. "He didn't!"

"He did," Remus said grimly.

"Give him ten points for that," Sirius said. "He deserves it." He cocked a grin. "Excuse me for a moment, there's something I have to do."

"Padfoot, no—"

But Sirius stood up, making his way over to where Lily was chatting with Marlene and Dorcas at the far end of the table.

"Lily, I will have to abstain from prefect duty this afternoon," he said loudly.

Lily gave him a strange look. "Remus, what's wrong?"

"I will abstain," Sirius continued, "because I have ballroom-dancing with Mrs. Norris to attend this afternoon."

James dropped his head onto the table and howled with laughter. Remus stood up and marched over to Sirius, giving Lily an apologetic look. Lily looked dumbfounded, glancing between the two Remuses.

"I'm sorry, Lily," Remus said. "Sirius seems to have, er...fallen into one of James's pranks."

"Of course James did this," Lily muttered. "He doesn't have a mature bone in his body."

James shot to his feet. "I have one mature bone."

Lily stared at him. 

"It's my funny-bone," James announced. Peter let out a shriek of laughter.

"Oh, very amusing," Lily snapped, looking relieved that James had opted for the much more innocent joke.

"Come on," Remus said wearily. "I'm sorry, Lily."

"Sirius, get out of here," Sirius said loudly.

"Sirius, what—"

"I'm serious, Sirius," Sirius said. "Seriously."

James let out another fit of laughter.

"Oh, honestly," Lily growled. "The lot of you are so childish."

Remus sighed.

"I'll see you this afternoon, Remus," Lily said pointedly, striding off.

"See you then!" Sirius yodeled after her. Remus slapped him on the back of the head.

"Padfoot, that hurt," Sirius whined.

"Shut up, Sirius." Remus glared at James. "Prongs, I am so tempted to give you zero points for that, but you get ten, because you pulled it off well."

James executed a small bow.

"Are you guys ever going to stop this ridiculous prank war?" Dorcas complained.

"Never," Sirius said.

"I told Evans that if she goes out with me, I'll stop," James amended.

Marlene leaned across the table. "Get it into your head, Potter. Lily is never going to go out with you."

Remus smirked at Peter. "Ha."

Peter jumped up and scurried over to Marlene. "Have you seen the way she looks at him?" he challenged. "Obviously she's going to tell you that she doesn't think he's cute because you're her friend, but—"

"Lily wouldn't—"

"Lily would, actually," Remus said.

James turned to Sirius. "Moony, can you try asking her again?"

"I'm not Moony."

James shook his head, then turned to the other Remus. "Moony, can you—"

"Absolutely not."

"Moony!"

Remus sighed. "Fine. Fine. It's not going to work."

"Try anyway," James said. "I feel like I'm getting closer. She'll go out with me. I vote we raise the stakes—twenty Galleons." He gave them a challenging look. "Anyone opting out?"

Peter shook his head. "I'm out. I think he's going to win."

"Fine." Remus met his eye.

"No sabotaging!" James said quickly.

"No sabotaging," Remus agreed. "Twenty Galleons."

"I'm in," Sirius said.

James grinned. "Awesome."


	6. Prefect Duty

Lily greeted Remus with a nod at the portrait-hole. "What's our job today?"

"Patrolling the halls," Remus said. "Same as usual."

Lily nodded, and they set off, walking side by side through the hallway, passing suits of armor. One lunged out at Lily, who ducked, and Remus quickly sent it back to its place with a flick of his wand.

"Thanks." Lily straightened, tucking her dark red hair behind her ear.

"No problem." Remus frantically tried to think of a way to bring James up without seeming too obvious. "How's...uh...have you...finished the...essay for...um...Transfiguration?"

Lily shot him an odd look. "Yes, and so have you. We worked on it yesterday, remember?"

"Right." Remus shook his head.

"Remus, are you all right?"

"James is such a moron," Remus muttered unthinkingly.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Just caught on have you?"

Remus let out a snort of laughter. "Unfortunately, no. I've known that for seven years."

Lily laughed lightly, Vanishing a spilled ink bottle on the floor as they passed. "But you're stuck with him."

Remus shrugged. "It's not that bad. James...he's really a great person, once you get past the arrogance. And he calmed down with it last year."

"I know," Lily said. "He's...surprising. I used to think he was a despicable person, but he just has a peculiar sense of honor."

"That's one way of putting it."

They turned down the staircase, hopping over the trick step that vanished when stepped on.

"What do you think of him, personally?" Remus said, hoping he wasn't being too obvious. Knowing Lily had probably caught on.

As if to confirm his suspicions, Lily shot him a grin. "You want me to say I like him."

Remus cursed inwardly. Damn James Potter.

Lily laughed at Remus's expression. "I know he sent you to ask me about him. Don't worry, you didn't give anything away." Her expression turned thoughtful. "He's...interesting, that's for sure. I don't necessarily dislike him."

"Would you ever give him a chance?" Remus asked.

Lily turned serious green eyes on him. "I don't know."

"You know, he'd probably leave you alone if you just gave it a shot," he added.

Lily quirked a grin. "That's precisely why I'm not sure if I want to."

 

............

 

"What did she say?"

Remus rolled his eyes. He'd barely entered the common room when James had started haranguing him and pelting him with Chocolate Frogs. Not that he'd expected anything different from his friend.

"We didn't talk about you," Remus said firmly.

"What?!?"

"Not everything's about you, mate," Sirius said. He was lounged in an armchair by the fire, hair falling casually and elegantly in his eyes. Across the room, a few girls were whispering and giggling as they watched Sirius, and Remus felt a spurt of annoyance. Sirius noticed his irritation and winked, and Remus felt his face grow hot.

"Oi," James complained through a mouthful of chocolate. "Would you two actually just kiss and be done with it?"

"James!" Remus hissed.

Sirius snorted, staring into the fire.

"Whatever." James stretched out his feet in front of the fire, running his hand through his mop of black hair. "I can't help the helpless."

"So don't." Sirius aimed a kick, which James dodged.

"How did it go with Lily, then?" James asked.

"It was fine," Remus said. "I've been doing Prefect duty with her for three years, you know."

"I know. But Lily's Lily, you know?"

"Yes," Remus said, completely deadpan, while Peter sniggered. "I am aware that Lily is Lily."

"That's not what I mean." James shook his head. "She didn't say one word about me?"

"Not one." Remus helped himself to a Chocolate Frog, setting the wizard card aside without looking at it.

"Liar," James said with satisfaction. "What did she say, Moony?"

"She didn't say anything," Remus repeated stubbornly.

James sighed dramatically. "Be that way. I'll just ask Lily."

"No, you won't," Peter said. James shot him an angry look.

"Do what you like." Remus leaned back against the armchair, examining his card. "Helga Hufflepuff."

"I'd give a Galleon just to keep her ugly mug from showing up in my Chocolate Frogs again," James mused. "What'd she do, bribe the company to put her on every card?"

"That's a positive outlook," a voice drawled. James glanced up as Lily, in jeans and an oversized red sweater, sat down with them.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Oi, Evans. You're crashing the party."

"I wanted to ask Remus something," Lily fired back, but her reddening cheeks betrayed her. "I just wanted to know if you found out who that ink bottle belonged to."

Remus squinted in confusion. "No..."

"Oh, okay." Lily made no move to get up.

"You're crashing the party," Sirius said loudly. "Just because you're in love with James—"

"She's not," James said.

Lily stared at him. Remus glared at Sirius.

"She's not in love with me," James said. "She's made it quite clear she only wants to be friends."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "And you're okay with that?"

"Of course I'm okay with it." James leaned against the wall of the fireplace. "I'd rather be just your friend than nothing at all."

Lily glanced at the ceiling. "Oh."

An awkward silence passed. Sirius kept shooting Remus glances, Peter was fidgeting, James was flipping through his Chocolate Frog cards, and Lily was inspecting a lock of her hair.

"Lily!" Marlene called. "Want to play Exploding Snap?"

Lily stood up. "Yeah, sure." She glanced down at the group. "Anyone?"

James stood up so fast he almost fell into the fire. "Yeah! Sure. I mean, if that's okay with you."

Lily snorted. "Come on, then."

The two walked off, and Sirius eyed James's stack of Chocolate Frog cards.

"Sirius," Remus groaned.

But Sirius was already replacing all of their faces with his own. "Ten points to Padfoot."


	7. Nobody Needs to Know

"Three hundred and twelve, Padfoot, to three hundred and four point six, Prongs," Peter read with a flourish.

"Boo," James yelled. "Moony, you prat, I didn't get enough points for the toothbrush—"

"It was immature," Remus said haughtily, glaring at James over his Astronomy chart.

"It was brilliant," James argued. Sirius watched as he leaned back against the sofa, flicking his dark hair aside, sporting the same easy grin he always did. Sirius doubted it would wear off before he had both feet in the grave.

"It wasn't that bad," Sirius said, watching Remus struggle with one of the star placements. "I mean, everyone said I smelled like strawberries all day, so that's not all bad. Plus, everyone knows about Pranktober, so nobody's all that surprised when weird shit happens."

"Surprised, no." Remus drew a line through one of his notations. "Exasperated..."

It was past midnight, and the common room had slowly emptied out until only the Marauders were left, huddled by the dying embers of the fire. Remus was catching up on Astronomy homework, Peter was tallying scores, James was sprawled on the floor with his wand, idly rearranging aspects of the Map, and Sirius was curled up in the armchair, as usual, watching his friends.

"Oops." James sat up. "Moony?"

Remus sighed. "Let's see."

James, who had accidentally dyed the whole document a particularly violent shade of cyan, pushed it over to Remus. Remus muttered a spell, waving his wand over the map, and it returned to its former hue.

"Thanks." James yawned and tapped the map. "Mischief Managed." He glanced up as the lines dissolved into a blank slip of parchment.

"I'll take that," Remus said, extending a slender hand towards James. Sighing, James passed him the parchment, and he tucked it in the back pocket of his bag. "Thanks."

"Anytime," James said dully. "Okay. I'm out for the night." He stood up, folding his glasses and ambling for the stairs. "Night," he called.

"Me too." Peter's eyes flickered open; Sirius suspected he had been struggling to stay awake for at least an hour, and was grateful to have an excuse to head up to bed. "See you in the morning."

Remus groaned as Peter tripped up the stairs. "I hate Astronomy."

"Let me see." Sirius slid off the chair and sat next to Remus. Their shoulders brushed, and Sirius's long hair swept against Remus's shoulder. "What are you stuck on?"

Remus pointed to a blank spot on the left. "I can't remember what that constellation is."

Sirius studied it for a moment. "I think..." He gently guided Remus's wrist. "This star goes here. And...here."

"Oh," Remus whispered, adding another mark next to it. "I see. That's Draco, isn't it?"

"I think so." Sirius leaned forward, acutely aware that his face was inches from Remus's. Out of the corner of his eye, he could tell Remus was looking at him.

The two locked eyes. 

Acting on impulse, Sirius leaned forward and kissed Remus.

"Sirius," Remus muttered when he pulled back. He was staring, wide-eyed, a little bit terrified and a little bit overjoyed.

"Nobody needs to know," Sirius promised. "Not Peter. Not even James."

"You'd be okay keeping that from James?" Remus whispered.

"One condition," Sirius said.

"And that is?"

And they were kissing again, Sirius memorizing every moment of it, knowing in the morning it would be a secret long-forgotten. They kissed, not worrying if James would come back downstairs and see them, or Peter, or anyone else.

"I have to finish my astronomy homework," Remus whispered at some point, hours later, as they lay curled up together in the armchair.

"What other fucking stars could there possibly be?"

Remus scooped up the chart and added the final touch, right in the middle of the paper. "Sirius."


	8. Serpentis

It was officially what would have been Ask Out Lily Evans Week, and James was finding it difficult to restrain himself from telling her his feelings. Moreover, Sirius and Remus were always whispering, and he felt left out of the loop. And as if that wasn't enough, he was behind Sirius by sixteen points after a well thought-out prank involving Devil's Snare, Veritaserum, and an umbrella.

But James, despite being irritated that he had no idea if Sirius and Remus were snogging, and Lily giving no hint whether she was warming up to him, had a brilliant idea. 

But he was going to need help, and he had no idea who to ask.

He couldn't ask Sirius, because this prank was being pulled on Sirius...and someone else, to an extent. He could ask Remus, but Remus would try to talk him out of it, and the presentation of the prank would be ruined, besides. So Moony was out. James didn't even consider Peter, as he had a yearly habit of ruining his best prank.

And that left one person, who might be easy to convince, but might also be impossible to convince.

James took a deep breath as he swung into the seat next to Lily in Charms. "Morning, Evans."

"You okay?" Lily asked.

"I need your help," James said, without preamble. 

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Pranktober?"

"Naturally." James glanced at Sirius, but he was deeply engaged in conversation with Remus, as usual. "I'll need your help with spellwork...we'll probably have to do this in the middle of the night...and our first obstacle is, we need to break into the Slytherin dormitories."

Lily's jaw dropped. "James..."

"This will be brilliant," James promised.

Lily sighed. "How would we get the password?"

"Espionage."

Lily shot him a dubious look. "They'll see you. It's a long, empty hallway, and you know no Slytherin will say the password with a Gryffindor nearby."

James winked. "Leave that bit to me."

Lily sighed. "Fine. Say you do get the password. We can't just walk into the Slytherin dorms, we'll be spotted instantly."

James shook his head. "I've got a way around that, and it's better than a Disillusionment Charm. Just assume we won't be seen at any time."

"What are you planning, then?"

"I'm going to nick Sirius's Gryffindor stuff and swap it out with one of the Slytherin's."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Which Slytherin, Potter? Which Slytherin?"

"A random one?" James tried, but Lily shook her head.

"Not Severus." She looked thoughtful. "But Avery is about Sirius's size..."

"Fine." James seized the name. "Avery, then. But Lily, are you in?"

Lily hesitated, glancing over at Sirius's table.

"Lily," James pleaded.

Lily shook her head. "You are so immature." But she was smiling.

James grinned in relief. "You'll help me!"

Lily playfully shoved him. "Yes. Yes, I'll help you. But if we get caught, be it on your head, James Potter."

 

............

 

Lily slipped down to the common room at 1:00 in the morning, dressed in dark jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt, feet clad in black boots. 

James had said 12:45, but it had taken Marlene ages to fall asleep, and James wasn't even in the common room anyway.

"James?" she whispered, scanning the room. Then, louder. "James!"

A low chuckle sounded. Right in front of her.

Then James suddenly appeared out of thin air, whisking a bit of silvery fabric over his head. Lily shrieked, stumbling backwards.

"Shhh," James hissed. "Don't blow our cover. Come on, under the Cloak."

"The...Cloak?" Lily lifted it, fascinated. "An Invisibility Cloak! James, do you know—"

"Shush! Move now, gasp later!" James dropped the Cloak over them, scooping up the pile of Sirius's Gryffindor ties and scarves. "Let's go."

Lily was very, very aware of how close they were under the Cloak. Another inch and they'd be pressed together. She took a deep breath as they slipped through the portrait-hole, catching James by the elbow as he tripped.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"No problem." Lily tried to swallow her fear—they were out of Gryffindor Tower after hours, and the chances of getting caught...

But then again—they had the Invisibility Cloak.

"Aren't you just full of surprises?" she whispered. James snorted.

Like ghosts, they glided silently through the halls. Left. Right. Staircase. Staircase. Back up the turning staircase, because it suddenly swiveled in the wrong direction. Right. Right. Left. Staircase. Right. Staircase. Locked door. Back down the staircase. Left. Left. Right. Staircase. Staircase. Staircase. Right. Dodge Peeves. Staircase.

And they were in the dungeons.

"What's the password?" Lily hissed.

James paused in front of a seemingly random section of wall. "Serpentis," he breathed, and the wall slid open.

The common room was deserted.

"Thank God," Lily whispered. 

James reached for her hand.

Together, they started forward into the Slytherin lair.


	9. A Sirius Joke

"Are you cold?" James whispered.

"Kind of," Lily said.

James brushed her arm. "You're shivering," he said. "Shall we grab you a Slytherin sweater, too?"

"Not funny." But she ducked her head, and James caught a flash of her smile.

They walked forward, where the corridor to the dormitories lay. The girls dormitories were clearly on the right; the boys on the left.

"Salazar didn't care much for separating them, huh?" James breathed. He knew his face was close to hers. Lily didn't seem to mind.

"Guess not." Lily hesitated. "Severus and Avery's door is second on the left."

James, who had been reaching for the first door, raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to ask the obvious question."

"He was my best friend," Lily said defensively. "This isn't my first time in the Slytherin dormitories. Sev used to sneak me in here all the time."

"The other Slytherins didn't mind you being in their top-secret hideout?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "We were like, twelve."

"There are twelve-year-old delinquents who act like perfectly innocent children."

"If you're referring to yourself and Sirius, you were less subtle than you think."

James laughed quietly. "Let's go, then, Miss Perfect."

Lily narrowed her eyes in mock irritation, then carefully turned the doorknob and pushed the door open a crack.

"They're asleep," she whispered. "Lucky for us."

"For us?" James crooked a smile. "You're really starting to enjoy this, aren't you?"

Lily flushed. "I am not."

James snorted and opened the door just wide enough for them to slide through, leaving it open a crack. "Okay," he said. "Where's Avery's stuff?"

But Lily was looking across the room, a disgusted expression on her face. James followed her gaze to where Severus lay, sprawled across his bed, greasy hair hanging in his eyes. His robes were draped at the foot of his bed, upon them an anti-Muggle-born pin James had noticed a few of the more horrible Slytherins wearing. He felt a spurt of hatred and glanced at Lily.

"Oh, fine," she whispered. "But we're taking the pin. And we're going to fucking burn it."

"You're on," James said. "Get some scarves, ties, anything green and silver and replace it with this stuff." He passed her the stack of Sirius's stuff, ducking out from under the Cloak, then turned to face Snape. Resisted the urge to punch him in the face.

"Accio Pins," he whispered. Every pin in the room zoomed towards him, and he shoved them in the pocket of his robes.

"Ready?" a voice whispered. He felt the air beside him, and Lily whisked up the Cloak and dropped it over his head, so they were both invisible again.

"Yeah," he said. "Let's go."

............

Lily watched as James ran upstairs with Severus's stuff before she turned to examine the pile of pins she was supposed to be throwing in the Gryffindor common room fire.

Why would Severus be part of this? Why would he turn against her to join up with this cult of people who hated what she was?

"It's an accident of birth," she whispered. "How am I supposed to help it?"

"Lily?"

James had returned, Cloak-free, now wearing just a sweatshirt and jeans, his hands full of the hateful pins. "Come on, let's burn these things."

Lily nodded, trying not to look James in the eye, not wanting him to see her tears. James, being James, noticed them anyway.

"Lily, they're not worth it," he said. "They're not. It's ridiculous." He grabbed up a pin and chucked it into the fire.

"He was my best friend, James." Lily tossed another pin, watching as the flames ate away at it.

"He doesn't deserve to be," James said roughly, throwing a pin as forcefully as possible. "He doesn't deserve to be anywhere near you."

Lily hurled another pin into the fire.

"In fact," James continued, dropping an arm around her, "the only reason you should be crying is because you won't go out with me and you know it's a mistake."

For some reason, that struck Lily as hilarious and she burst out laughing, burying her face in James's shoulder.

"So that's a yes?" James teased, but Lily could hear the actual hope in his voice.

"You idiot," she mumbled. "Yes. Fine. I'll go out with you, James Potter."

James let out an incredulous whoop. "You can't be serious," he said. "You're serious?"

"No, I'm Lily."

James stared at her. Lily smiled weakly.

Then James threw his arms around her abruptly, startling her.

"James," she protested.

"You made a Sirius joke." He stepped back. "You are actually the most amazing person I've ever met."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Okay. It's three o'clock in the morning. I'm going to bed."

"Go ahead." James's smile seemed wider than usual, brightening the whole room. "See you tomorrow."

Hesitating slightly, Lily leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight," she said.

And the last thing she saw, heading up the stairs, was James joyfully throwing the last of the pins into the fire, his smile brighter than the tallest of the flames.


	10. Put That on Your Fucking Pins

"What the hell?"

James groaned and rolled over. It was way too early, especially as he had been up until four in the morning.

Then he sat up, remembering. 

Lily. Lily Evans.

Lily Evans was going out with him.

"James?" Sirius's voice cracked with bitterness. "Did you do this?"

"Huh?" James fumbled for his glasses. "Do what?"

"This." Loathing in his voice, Sirius lifted a scarf with two fingers. A Slytherin scarf.

"Oh!" James sat up. "Hell yeah, I did that! Ten points, right, Moony?"

"Remus?" Sirius turned, a surprisingly angry expression on his face. "You helped with this?"

"No," Remus mumbled, still half-asleep. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"James," Sirius said, biting off the words, "has replaced all of my ties and scarves with ones of Slytherin House."

"I got Lily to help me," James said, oblivious to Sirius's temper. "She said—"

"Why would you do that?"

Surprised, James looked at his friend. "What? We can get your stuff back—"

"That's not what I mean." Dumping the clothes unceremoniously on the floor, Sirius stormed out of the room.

Bemused, James glanced at Remus. "What did I do?"

"I don't want to know." Remus's face remained firmly buried in his pillow.

Peter sat up, scanning the room. "Where'd Padfoot go?"

"I don't know," James sighed, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, shivering at the burst of cold air. "Someone shut the bloody window, I'm going to go talk to him."

In the common room, Sirius was sitting in front of the fire, staring into the flames. It was early enough that no one else was crowding the common room yet; as a general rule, Gryffindors liked to sleep in as long as possible.

"Padfoot," James said. "What's going on? Tell me what I did."

Sirius just looked at him.

"We can get your stuff back," James said. "It's a prank, Pads. It's Pranktober."

"It's a sight more than that," Sirius finally said. "James...seeing all that Slytherin stuff this morning, it was like my worst nightmare, the one where I wind up just like my family."

James stiffened. "Oh, Merlin. Sirius, I didn't mean it like—"

"I know you didn't," Sirius said quietly.

"The thing is," James said. "The reason it's a joke—it's because you're the complete opposite of a Slytherin."

Sirius didn't move, but his eyes flicked to James beneath his curtain of dark hair. James pressed on.

"And—the fact is, Severus Snape is going to wake up in the morning with the same predicament; staring at a closet full of Gryffindor clothes, and it's the complete opposite of him, because it's you."

Sirius finally glanced up. 

"That's cleverer than I'm going to give you credit for," Sirius said. "He'll probably be apoplectic—"

"POTTER!"

James cringed at the sound coming from outside the portrait-hole. Sirius's face spread into a wide grin.

"POTTER, OPEN THIS DOOR, RIGHT NOW."

James stood up, stretched, and casually made his way over to the portrait hole. "Bit early to pronounce your undying love to me, Snivellus," he called. "But by all means, go for it."

"You scum," Severus hissed as the portrait hole cracked open. "Take your disgusting Gryffindor clothes—take them—"

"What's going on?"

James turned as Lily, wearing a thin, heather-gray sweater and jeans, hair in a high ponytail, approached the portrait-hole.

"Do you see this?" Severus spat. "Do you see what this imbecile—this disgusting filth—"

"Yes," Lily said. "And I helped with it."

Severus stiffened. "You did what?"

Lily reached into her back pocket and pulled something out. James glanced at is as it flashed in the sunlight and he realized what it was—one of the pins from last night.

"This was pinned to your robes," Lily said conversationally. "But tell me again how sorry you are that you called me a Mudblood."

Severus went pale, and was gaping like a fish. "I—Lily—how can you help him—when—"

"Sev, save it," Lily said, and she looked as surprised as James was that the nickname slipped out. "Cease your worthless apologies; I know they mean nothing."

Without saying another word, Severus turned and headed down the hallway.

"Oh, and I'm going out with him!" Lily shouted after him. "Put that on your fucking pins!"

"You're what?" Sirius asked, astonished. "When were you going to tell me this, Prongs?"

James grinned. "Right before you stormed out."

Lily sighed. "Sorry about the Slytherin thing," she said. "James's idea."

"I had better get ten points for it," James said.

Sirius squinted. "You know...instead of sneaking into the Slytherin dorms, you could have just...charmed my stuff to look like Slytherin stuff."

"I couldn't pass up the chance to piss off Snivellus," James said. "Lily said no, but I knew she'd come around."

"You jerk," Lily said. "You made me sneak out of Gryffindor Tower at one o'clock in the morning—"

"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."

Remus appeared downstairs, wearing robes but still looking as rumpled as if he'd just rolled out of bed. "Have we all finished arguing?"

"We have," James said. "Now, where are my ten points? I should get bonus points for managing to get into the Slytherin dorms."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Fine. Twelve points."

"And twenty Galleons," James added, quickly sliding his hand into Lily's.

Remus groaned. "Lily, how could you betray me like that?"

Lily shrugged. "Sorry. I tried."

"Two more weeks left of Pranktober," Sirius said. "Lily, you've got until Halloween to change your mind. Don't let us down."

"We'll see," Lily said. "Come on. Let's get breakfast."


	11. It's Worth Everything

By lunchtime, the news had spread all over the school—notorious prankster and star Chaser James Potter was going out with top student, the smartest and prettiest seventh-year in the school, Lily Evans.

"She's not the prettiest seventh-year," Sirius would grumble whenever he overheard that particular comment. "That title goes to me."

Approximately half the school was repeating "told you" over and over. The other half was astonished, most of which Marlene McKinnon.

"You swore you hated him!" James heard her hiss as the two hurried to Herbology.

"I didn't say I hated him," Lily amended, smiling warmly at James as they passed.

James spotted Remus and Sirius, far ahead of him. "Oi! Moony! Padfoot!" He accidentally elbowed a fifth-year as he passed, but she was too busy staring at him to notice anyway, so he plowed forward to where his friends were whispering.

"—and you know full well it won't happen again," Remus was saying in an undertone, oblivious to James's presence. Sirius, equally unaware, was talking over him.

"Can we not discuss this in the hallway? Where anyone could hear? Do you really want everyone to know what happened? Isn't that the point of this conversation?"

"Pray tell, where can we talk? In the common room, where Prongs and Wormy are listening?"

"I don't want to just forget about it." There was desperation in Sirius's voice, and James took an involuntary step backwards. He hadn't meant to intrude...

"I thought we were never going to speak of it again," Remus said, and there was an uncharacteristic hardness to the way he said it. The crowd in the hallway was thinning, and James ducked behind a suit of armor blocking another corridor.

"Remus."

"It's not...you," Remus said.

"It's me," Sirius finished bitterly. "Of course. But you know what that really means, right? It's me."

"Sirius, it's not you. Just…things would change." Remus ran a hand through his hair. "I've got to get my life back in order, and I can't have a boyfriend on top of being a werewolf. Even if we kept it a secret," he started as Sirius opened his mouth, "which I wouldn't ask you to do."

Sirius closed his eyes, seeming to deflate a little. "You know I wouldn't care."

"It's not because I don't love you," Remus said, so quietly that James could barely hear.

"I know," Sirius said, equally as quiet, and twice as sad.

James slipped around the corner, out of earshot.

Remus and Sirius.

They'd gone to such great lengths to keep their secret. As happy as he was that they'd gotten together, however briefly, he wasn't supposed to know, and neither was anyone else.

He'd take their secret to the grave. And in the meantime, hope they'd figure out they were meant to be together anyway.

............

"Mr. Potter."

James spun quickly. "Yes, Professor?"

McGonagall eyed him beadily. "What are you doing in my classroom at lunchtime? You don't have my class for another thirty-seven minutes."

"Ah..." James stalled. "I was looking for my copy of A Standard Book of Spells," he ad-libbed.

"Oh?" McGonagall narrowed her eyes. "At Mr. Black's desk? Do you think the book is hiding in his inkwell?"

"Well—"

"Make no mistake, I will check every inkwell," she added. "We can't have you without your book."

James sighed. "Professor, please. Sirius is beating me by four points."

McGonagall's eyes rolled skyward. "You four are graduating this year, correct?"

James grinned. "Yes."

She threw her hands up and stalked out of the room. After another moment, James followed her.

"Prongs."

Sirius was leaning against the wall. He was attempting to look casual, but James saw the sadness in his friend's eyes.

"Hey, Padfoot." James stopped, not wanting to give away that he knew why Sirius was upset. "Er...you okay?"

"Yeah." Sirius shook his head briefly, as if attempting to clear it.

James hesitated. 

"You know, don't you?" Sirius asked. "You overheard Remus in me in the hall, or saw us in the common room—"

"It's none of my business and I'm not going to tell anyone," James swore. "Not even Lily or Wormtail. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"You're a good friend," Sirius said. "And—yes. I'm okay. I'll be fine." He glanced down the hallway. "Just being his friend is worth everything." He turned to James. "And yours, too."

"And Wormtail," James hastened to add.

Sirius's expression clouded over. "Right."

James tried to catch his eye. "Do you want to call it quits on the Prank-Off? We can—"

"Absolutely not," Sirius said. "I've got a brilliant one planned, and we're not stopping just because of my ridiculous love life."

James shoved him lightly, grinning. "What love life?"

Sirius barked a laugh, and the two headed towards the Great Hall, where they knew their friends were waiting.


	12. The Stag's Out of the Bag

"Alright."

The Marauders huddled around the fire: Sirius was sprawled in the armchair, Remus sat on the floor in front of him, James sat against the wall next to the fire, and Peter leaned against the table. James was grinning urgently at the dubious crowd.

"What do we need to talk about so urgently?" Remus inquired. "It's midnight. I'm tired. McGonagall's giving us a pop quiz tomorrow—"

"What?" Sirius said loudly. "Exactly how long have you known this?"

Remus shrugged. "A few days."

"Thanks for telling us," Sirius grumbled.

"I just did!" Remus protested.

"Not the time!" James said. "We have many things to discuss." He grinned. "We always cap the month off with a spectacular collaborative prank, and we need to figure it out."

Peter smiled. "I have some ideas, if anyone wants to hear them."

"Go for it," Remus said.

"Okay." Peter shifted forward. "We...turn...all the eggs pink!"

Remus and James exchanged glances. Sirius let out a barely perceptible sigh.

"We'll put that on the shelf," James said. "But I'm thinking, like, we charm the school so that everyone can only speak Mermish. Or we get the giant squid to keep asking people out—"

"Bigger," Sirius said. "I'm thinking, we steal the Sorting Hat and—"

"The Sorting Hat's good, we should save that for the end of the year," James said quickly. "Maybe enchanting the pumpkins to follow McGonagall around, turning all the Slytherin costumes into fairy costumes, dying Malfoy's hair purple..."

"I'm on board with that," Remus said quickly.

"I like the pumpkin thing," Sirius said. "But they can't just be following her around, they have to be saying something—"

"Or singing," Remus opined. "We could have them follow her around singing 'A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love' for the entire day."

"This sounds like my kind of plan." Sirius leaned back.

James nodded. "Okay. It's good. It's just...it doesn't feel like we're going out with a bang."

"I have an idea," Sirius said. "What if we made all the doors invisible?"

James sat up straight. "That's brilliant."

Sirius grinned. "Isn't it?"

James tossed him a high-five. "We'll do both."

Remus shook his head. "McGonagall is going to kill us."

............

"Potter!"

James glanced over his shoulder. Lily was hurrying towards him, face flushed and eyes suspiciously bright, bag slung over her shoulder.

"Alright, Evans?" James slowed his pace so that she could catch up. As she slowed, her hair floated around her face in a red tangle.

"I was thinking," she started.

"As you usually are."

"I was thinking about Pranktober," she said. "I was thinking about how I could help you win."

James stopped dead. "You're voluntarily thinking about Pranktober?"

"She's crashing the party," Sirius, who was passing by, moaned dramatically. James elbowed his shoulder and he slid by, en route to Astronomy.

Lily checked her watch. "I've got a free period."

"Me too." James was surprised. "I thought you had a full schedule."

"I dropped Arithmancy," Lily explained. "It was fascinating, but there were only Ravenclaws and Slytherins." She dropped her gaze, and James heard the unspoken implication: she didn't want to share a class with Severus.

Anger bubbled through him, and he had to restrain himself from marching to Professor Vector's classroom and earning himself a month's worth of detentions.

"James," Lily said. "I'm fine."

James sighed. "Come on, let's head back to the common room."

As they walked, they chatted idly. Lily reviewed several prank ideas that James shelved for later; Lily had the potential to be much more diabolical than she allowed herself to be.

"When's your next game?" Lily asked as James brought up Quidditch.

James puffed his chest slightly. "November 4th. Gryffindor vs Slytherin."

Lily's eyes sparkled. "You'll beat them."

"You'll be there, right?" James asked. "Cheering me on?"

"Of course," she promised, eyes twinkling. "I'll even wear your lucky scarf if you want."

James grinned. "Excellent."

They approached the portrait-hole then, and he lifted her through, despite her protests. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him in after her, and he tumbled through the hole, laughing.

"Dweeb," she teased.

James shook his head, making his hair stand on end. "What does that make you, Evans?"

"It makes me a dweeb for going out with you."

James's face brightened. "So we're a pair of dweebs."

Lily giggled, collapsing onto the couch in the common room. "Perfect."

James sat next to her, turning to face her seriously.

"Lily."

She raised an eyebrow. "James."

He took a deep breath, but just then, Peter burst into the common room, looking distracted.

"James, what are you doing?" he asked. "Please don't tell me you're going to tell her—"

James scowled. "She's not going to tell anyone. She knows about Remus already, anyway."

"Tell me what?" Lily demanded.

Peter sighed dramatically, ignoring Lily's bewildered look. "Padfoot is going to hate you."

"Let him hate me," James said.

"Well, don't do it in the common room," Peter said.

"Do what?" Lily asked.

"Wormtail, there's no one here. Literally no one, besides your mug."

"Someone could walk in—"

"In the middle of class?"

"I did!"

"Probably because you forgot your star chart," James guessed. "You have Astronomy right now."

Peter huffed, then scurried up the stairs to the boy's dorms.

"Tell me what?" Lily pounced as soon as Peter left.

James stood up, and Lily did too, but he waved her back down. "Don't freak out," he said.

"James Potter, you—"

Before she could finish her sentence, James was gone. Standing in his place was a large red stag. Lily shrieked and tumbled off the couch.

Peter, upon entering the room, sighed loudly. "Prongs, you prat, I told you not to do that."

The stag let out a huff and quickly transformed back into James. Lily stared from where she was still sprawled on the floor.

"You're an Animagus," she said.

James looked pleased. "Yes."

"An unregistered Animagus."

"Shhh," Peter hissed.

Lily did a double-take, as if just noticing Peter was in the room. "You're one too, aren't you?"

Peter squeezed his eyes shut. "Thanks, James."

"We don't call him Wormtail for nothing," James said.

"Your Animagus form is a worm?"

"I am not a worm!" Peter squeaked. "I'm a rat—"

The portrait-hole burst open again and Remus climbed in, looking very put-out. "Sinistra's looking for you."

"James has betrayed us to the enemy!" Peter shrieked.

Remus's gaze fell on Lily. "Who's the enemy?"

"Me, apparently," Lily said. "You didn't tell me all your friends were Animagi."

Remus groaned. "You didn't ask us before telling her, James."

"Sorry, Moony," James said sheepishly.

"No, you're not," Remus said wearily. "Whatever. Padfoot might just kill you. Or Lily."

Lily huffed. "I'm not going to tell anyone! Honestly, Remus, why would I do that?"

"Because it's illegal?" James suggested. Peter glared.

"I wouldn't do that," Lily said, absently tracing a pattern on the air with her wand. "I won't tell."

The portrait swung open and Sirius appeared. "Professor Sinistra's wondering where you all went off to," he announced. "What's going on? Is there a party I don't know about?"

"Yeah, James is just a party animal," Peter snapped. "Literally."

Remus coughed a short laugh. "Prongs, has, er, let the stag out of the bag," he explained.

Sirius's eyes rolled to the ceiling. "Fabulous."

"I won't tell," Lily swore.

"You'd better not," Sirius said. "Or I'll sic my dog on you."


	13. Evans…

"Hear ye. Hear ye."

James rolled his eyes and sighed, staring up at the tall ceiling of the History of Magic classroom. Having to listen to the famous Troll Convention Speech of 1351 was torture enough; having to listen to Binns reciting it in his ghostly monotone was worse.

James felt a thwack on his wrist, glanced down long enough to see a slender hand holding a quill retreat back to its owner.

"Pay attention," Lily hissed.

"It's so boring," James complained in an undertone.

Lily huffed. "You still need to focus. Remus isn't doing your homework for you this year."

"It doesn't matter. I'm not getting a N.E.W.T. anyway," James said.

"Well, not with that attitude." Lily flipped her straight red hair over her shoulder. "Or that handwriting," she added, regarding his notes. "What's that drawing? A Snitch? What's written on it?"

James reddened, tucked the scrap of parchment under a few others. "Nothing."

Lily raised an eyebrow, but returned her attention to the ghost at the front of the room.

"Oi." Sirius, sitting in front of James and a seat to the left, leaned back so that his hair was obliterating Lily's notes. "What d'you say we can convince Moony to ditch—"

"Absolutely not," Lily hissed, trying fruitlessly to brush Sirius's hair away from her notes. Sirius only tossed his head and continued.

"—and head up to the common room for a meeting?"

"No," Lily said frostily before James even opened his mouth.

Sirius turned. "Nobody said you were invited, Evans."

Lily reddened, but James shot bolt upright.

"She's always invited," he said. "That's not what she meant, anyway. She wants me to not get in trouble."

Lily kept her eyes firmly glued to the desk.

"It's a Marauders meeting," Sirius growled, checking to make sure Binns wasn't listening.

"She's my—" James stopped himself. Lily took a deep breath and looked up.

"I'm not going to go to Hogsmeade with you," she told James decisively.

James's heart dropped about a mile.

"What?"

"I'll explain later." She angled her body away from him, even though Binns was on his side of the room.

Sirius looked a little stunned. "Evans," he began, but Lily silenced him with a vicious glare.

At the end of class, James stood up, practically stumbling over his chair. "Lily, wait!"

"You can call me Evans," she said.

Her words hit James like a blow. "L…Evans, what did I do?"

Lily sighed, then turned her chin up to face James.

"Black doesn't like me," she said. "For some reason, things between you and your friends are tense when I'm around." She held up a hand. "These are your best friend, James. I couldn't take that away from you."

And she walked off.

James stared after her, gaping, dumbstruck, unwilling to believe that Lily Evans had just walked away. That it had taken only a few days for him to screw this up. The girl he had been in love with for years had finally agreed to go out with him, and he had ruined it.

He was going to kill Sirius.

............

Lily waited outside the portrait hole.

After five minutes, it cracked open and Remus popped his head out. "Lily?"

"I'm here," she said.

"Let's go." Not bothering to wait up for her, Remus strode forward.

"Wait up!" Lily hurried after him. "Remus. What's wrong?"

Remus didn't answer.

"Remus John Lupin, you talk to me right now or so help me—"

"Do you have any idea what you did to James?" Remus interrupted.

Lily blinked. "James?"

Remus shook his head, walking faster.

"Remus!"

"This is a boy," Remus said slowly, "who has had feelings for you for so long. This past year, through all the witty banter and arrogant hair-tossing, he has hoped every second that you'd return his feelings. And you finally did."

Lily waited.

"And then you decided that you didn't want to deal with his friends and left." Remus snapped his fingers. "Instead of even trying to talk to Sirius. Do you know how upset Sirius is? He won't even talk to James, because he thinks he's ruined everything. And that's what James thinks too. I've heard the words 'you're supposed to be my brother' too many times today to count."

Lily took a deep breath. 

"I'm not trying to force you into a relationship with James," Remus said. "But I can tell you like him. And I know how he feels about you. And you are a bloody idiot for doing what you did today."

"Enough," Lily said sharply.

Remus finally looked at her. "Lily—"

"Why don't you take that side of the castle," Lily said, trying to keep her voice as normal as possible.

"I—"

But Lily had already hurried off in the opposite direction, trying not to think about James, or Sirius, or Remus.

Trying not to think about anything.


	14. Guilt Trips & Apologies

"I'm sorry," Sirius said.

James didn't answer.

"It's been two days, Potter. Are you just never going to talk to me again because I accidentally made a snarky comment at a girl you like and she left you?" Sirius leaned forward. "This is not my fault. I'm sorry for what I said to her, but this is not my fault."

"I know," James said. "I'm not mad at you, Padfoot. I just don't want to talk to anyone right now."

Sirius felt a bit of relief at having James call him by his old familiar nickname. "We could get back at her," he suggested. "Big group prank? It'd be cathartic."

James shook his head. "I don't want to prank her."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You? James Potter, notorious prankster, who has pranked the student body more times than he's shifted into Animagus form, doesn't want to prank Lily Evans? What has she done to you?"

"It was going perfectly!" James said. "I don't know what set her off! It wasn't you..." He stared into the fire. "Maybe the Animagus thing scared her away?"

Sirius glanced at him worriedly. "She's not worth it, James."

"Yes she is."

The portrait hole opened and Remus walked in, looking exhausted. James sat up straight. "How did it go, Moony?"

"I think I accidentally made her cry," Remus said sheepishly. "I was a bit harsh."

"What did you say?" James was instantly on the defensive. "I told you to tell her the situation, not make her angrier than she already is!"

"I sort of threw Sirius under the bus," Remus said. "Sorry, mate."

"That's okay, I deserve it," Sirius said.

"And I probably made James out to be this perfectly noble person that he's not," Remus said. "And I might have accidentally painted her to be a heartless bitch that used you and discarded you."

Sirius dropped his head and groaned. "You can't do that."

"I absolutely did not exaggerate on that count," Remus amended. "She did a really idiotic, heartless thing. And she needs to know what she did wrong."

James glanced up. "Moony, you didn't need to make her feel bad."

"Yes I did," Remus said firmly. "And now you need to go apologize to her."

"For what?" Sirius exploded. "What did he do? I think I need to apologize—"

"Oh yes, you too," Remus said. "You and Wormtail are going to apologize first. Make it look like you're all stupid and you never meant to offend her. Then James will come in and by then she'll feel really bad and realize what she did wrong. And even if you don't get back together, you'll be on good terms." Remus sat back, crossing his arms. 

James raised an eyebrow. "You're a genius."

"I know," Remus said, a faint smile crossing his face.

James shook his head. "Let's wait until tomorrow, at least."

"Sounds good." Sirius leaned back. "I'm going to sleep, anyway."

"Me too." Remus rose to his feet. "Night, guys. Hey, has anyone seen Wormtail?"

James shook his head. "Probably already asleep."

He wasn't, but the three didn't think anything of it when he never appeared in the dorm that night.

 

............

 

The next day, Sirius spotted Lily in the halls just after breakfast. Her head was down, her books tucked tightly in her arms, and she seemed determined not to lock eyes with anyone.

"Evans!"

Her shoes clicked faster.

"Lily!"

Faster. Her head ducked further, sending her fiery auburn waves cascading around her face.

"Lily June Evans!"

She finally stopped. "How did you know my middle name?"

Sirius shrugged. "I think James probably mentioned it at some point."

At the mention of James, her face darkened. "I have to get to class, Black."

Sirius grabbed her shoulder. "Wait. No. Stop. I have—I have to apologize."

Her green eyes were stony in the dim light filtering into the hallway. "For what?"

"For making you feel unwelcome among us." Sirius stepped forward, pulling them both out of the way of the students trickling past. "James is my best friend, and whatever he wants, I want for him. You're probably one of the best things that ever happened to him, and whether or not you want to be in a relationship with him, and I know you do, he's just a really great person—"

"I know he is," Lily said, a hint of a smirk on her freckled face.

"And—and I'm sorry. And you're always welcome with the four of us," Sirius said.

Lily fiddled with the strap of her bag. "Thanks, Sirius."

"Just—give him another chance, at least," Sirius said. "Please."

Lily sighed. 

"That's all." Sirius walked away, checking over his shoulder as he went.

And right on cue, James skidded down the hallway, hair sticking up on all sides, tie askew. "Did you talk to her?" he demanded. "What did she say?"

Sirius shrugged. "Go talk to her yourself."

"What if she says no?"

"Then she's not worth it," Sirius said firmly.

James took a deep breath. "She's worth it."

And then he strode off.


	15. This is Not a Drill

"Are you going to tell me what she said?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond.

"Pads..." Remus folded his arms, demanding Sirius's attention. "This is Lily we're talking about."

"She didn't really say much of anything," Sirius said. "I did most of the talking."

Remus snorted lightly. "That might not be such a good thing."

"Pfft."

The two walked idly down the corridor after leaving their bags in the common room, having plenty of time before Astronomy class.

"Where's Wormtail?" Sirius wondered for the fifth time. "I haven't seen him since dinner last night. He never came back to the dormitory—"

"He did," Remus said, also for the fifth time. "He left before we woke up."

"What's he doing, d'you think?" Sirius's eyes glittered. "Think he's got a girl?"

Remus stopped suddenly.

"What?"

Remus tilted his head. Confused, Sirius followed his gaze—to a couple of Slytherins in the corner. Nott, Malfoy, Avery, Mulciber, Crabbe, Goyle...

And Peter, standing in the middle.

"What in the bloody fuck is he doing?" Sirius started forward, but Remus snatched the neck of his robes and hauled him around the corner.

"We can ask him later," Remus said firmly, releasing Sirius. Sirius stumbled into Remus, grabbing at his arm to right himself.

Pretending not to notice the blush coloring Remus's cheeks.

Sirius sighed. "Remus..."

"What?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

Sirius brushed his hair out of his eyes impatiently. "You know. You know what I'm talking about. If we can't be together, you could at least stop looking at me like you want to snog me all the time."

"But I do want to snog you all the time," Remus said without thinking.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Well, keep it to yourself."

He turned to face the Slytherins again, but Remus let out a barely perceptible sigh and he turned around again.

"I can't believe this," Remus muttered, but he hesitantly leaned forward and kissed Sirius.

Abandoning all thoughts of resistance, Sirius leaned into the kiss. He felt Remus's hand brush his hair, and they only jumped apart when they heard a loud noise from somewhere down the corridor.

"Sorry," Remus breathed.

"God damn you," Sirius muttered, wrapping his arms around Remus. Remus's arms wound around him hesitantly, and they stood there for a full minute together, pretending the world didn't exist, pretending everything was okay.

"I assume you still aren't comfortable openly dating me?" Sirius asked, only slightly bitterly.

Remus sighed. "Someday," he promised, gripping Sirius's hand. "Someday, when things are easier. Maybe when we move out…get settled in the world…when James and Lily get a flat, with that kitten James has always wanted…"

Sirius smiled. "Someday," he said. "You promise?"

"I promise," Remus said.

Around the corner, a hissing chant began. They looked up warily, separating their hands, listening.

"Long live the Dark Lord.

"Long live the Dark Lord.

"Long live the Dark Lord..."

Sirius bit his lip. "That doesn't sound good."

"It doesn't sound good at all," Remus agreed.

 

............

 

"You wanted to talk to me." Lily stared up at him with brilliant green eyes.

"I...uh..." James found himself at a loss for words.

She crossed her arms.

"Actually, you should be talking to me," James said. "Because I didn't do anything wrong."

For a brief moment, Lily looked surprised.

"Lily, I like you a lot. I've liked you for a very long time," James said. "But if you're in, you have to be all in, or I'm just wasting my time."

Lily's expression was unreadable. James ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"I came to apologize," James said. "But I can't think what I'm apologizing for."

Lily just looked at him.

"So that's it," James said. "I'm not going to wait for you forever, Evans, no matter how many ridiculous bets I set for Pranktober."

He turned to walk away, but a hand landed on his arm. A slender, freckled hand.

"You idiot," she said wearily.

"What—"

Lily leaned forward and kissed him.

Unable to form a coherent sentence, he sputtered, "Did—that just happen?"

"I'm sorry," Lily said, choosing to ignore the comment. "And—if you forgive me, I'll go out with you."

"You will?" James asked disbelievingly. "You actually will?"

To James's surprise, she grinned. "Yes."

 

............

 

Sirius put a hand to his pocket. "What the hell?"

Remus frowned. "Did you feel that too?"

"Wait." Sirius dug through his pocket, then grinned. "It worked! They're back together! This is not a drill, Prongs and Evans are back together!"

"How can you tell?" Remus asked. "Did you enchant your pocket to act as an alarm clock?"

"No, but I think I can figure out when twenty Galleons suddenly vanishes from my pocket," Sirius said.

Remus smiled. "It worked."

Just then, Peter ambled around the corner, looking dazed.

"Oi!"

Sirius launched himself forward, but Remus grabbed his arm. "Be nice," he said stiffly.

Sirius glared at Remus, then turned to Peter. "What in the name of Merlin's saggy—"

"I don't know." Peter looked nervous. "They just grabbed me...and started saying things about the Dark Lord—"

"They mean Voldemort, we know that," Remus said. "But Wormtail, what were you doing?"

Peter swallowed. "I don't...I..."

Sirius squinted. But then, he reasoned, Peter was a terrible liar.

Wormy wouldn't lie to us, he thought. And you're an arse for doubting him, Sirius Black.

"Hey, it's alright," Sirius said. "I know it wasn't your fault. Those blokes will pick on anyone they've got a mind to."

Remus let out a tiny breath of relief, presumably that Sirius hadn't gone crazy. Sirius shot him a wink, then turned back to Peter.

"Come on," Sirius said. "Let's go find James and Lily. I hear things went well."


	16. Another Full Moon

"Two physical properties of a bezoar," James said.

Lily, who was leaning against his knees, twisted her head to frown at him. It was late at night and they were sitting in the common room by the fire; James on the couch, Lily on the floor. "James, you've been taking Potions for seven years. How do you not know what bezoars are?"

"I know what they are," James said. "I just don't know what they look like."

Lily snorted. "They're round. And hard."

"Thanks." James scribbled that down.

The portrait hole swung open and Remus and Sirius tumbled in, faces flushed. Lily didn't look up, but James raised an eyebrow.

"How was your walk?" he called.

"Fabulous." Sirius threw himself down in his usual armchair, scaring off a first-year perched on one of the arms.

James shook his head. "You guys are ridiculous."

"How are we any more ridiculous than usual?" Remus asked, stretching his long legs by the fire. "Well, Padfoot more than me..."

Sirius chucked a quill at him, reaching for James's bottle of butterbeer.

"You seriously expect me to believe there was no snogging?" James asked. "Not even a little?"

Sirius sprayed butterbeer all over the floor. Remus's mouth dropped open.

"We were not snogging," Sirius said emphatically.

"Not even a little," Remus confirmed. "We do not snog."

Sirius mumbled something that both James and Remus chose to ignore.

"Whatever you say." Lily crossed out a sentence on her paper and tilted her head back, looking up at James from under dark golden eyelashes. "Anything else you need help with before I go to bed?"

James's eyes danced wickedly, but Lily shot him a warning look and he wisely didn't open his mouth; just shook his head. "Night, Lily."

"Goodnight, then," she said, standing up and kissing him on the cheek before heading upstairs to her dormitory.

Sirius leaned forward and whistled quietly as she disappeared. "James and Lily, sitting in a tree."

"Don't," James warned, raising his wand.

"K-I—"

"Petrificus Totalus!"

Sirius went stiff, and Remus caught him as he fell. "Was that really necessary, James?"

James grinned. "You know the countercurse."

Remus sighed. "I do. And, unlike you, I can do it nonverbally," he said, quickly pointing his wand at Sirius, who rebounded to his feet with a glare.

"Now, what was I saying about snogging?" James asked.

"Yeah, what were you saying?" Sirius drew his wand.

"Enough," Remus said. "Everyone's going to bed. Now. Sirius, let's go."

James snorted. "This is too easy."

"That is not what I meant," Remus said loudly.

"Whatever." James headed up the stairs.

Sirius sat back in his chair, looking thoroughly annoyed. "He's a prat."

"Yeah, yeah." Remus ruffled Sirius's hair, but Sirius grabbed his wrist. Laughing, Remus shoved him against the chair, but Sirius kicked his ankle, causing him to stumble backwards.

"Victory is mine," Sirius announced.

The next morning, it wasn't an absolute shock when Sirius wandered down the stairs only to find James and Lily, pressed together in front of the portrait hole, tangled together in a sleepy-looking catastrophe of lips and hair.

"Are you bloody serious?" Sirius grumbled. "Will I have to deal with this every morning for the rest of my life?"

Lily went pink. James smirked.

"I'm not serious," James added quickly. "That's you, mate."

"Don't be such a curmudgeon," Remus said, yawning sleepily behind him. "I think they're...a-doe-rable."

Sirius aimed a punch, but Remus ducked, grinning. Sirius noted how healthy he looked, even with the full moon approaching in a week.

"So the full moon is..." Sirius calculated. "November..."

"October," Remus said, the smile sliding off his face as he checked for listeners. The common room was empty.

"Don't be a git, Moony, we already had an October full moon."

Remus shook his head. "There's going to be another one."

Sirius glanced at him. "What? So what day is it?"

"Halloween, when else?" He glanced at Sirius. "I...I wouldn't mind if you went to the feast."

"Are you mental?" Sirius exploded. "No! I'm not going to the feast. Forget it."

"Sorry, Lily," James murmured. "Next year."

"It's all right," she said. "Next year."

"We'll have every single Halloween together for the rest of our lives," James said. "Assuming you don't break up with me. Think of how many pumpkins that is."

"Nothing bad ever happens on Halloween." Lily tossed her dark red hair. "I'll be fine. Go with Remus."

"Next year, then? You promise?" James wheedled.

"Come on, lets get down to breakfast." Sirius shoved James out the portrait hole. "We don't have time to listen to the stag mating dance."

James laughed so hard he fell over.

None of them had noticed that morning that Peter wasn't in his bed.


	17. He Meant It

Sirius propped his feet up on the closest available footrest, which just happened to be...Remus, doing homework on the floor. Oops.

"Do you mind?" Remus complained without looking up. "Astronomy's hard enough without your bony feet on my arse."

"I do mind," Sirius said. "My feet are tired."

"They won't be when I sever them from your ankles."

Sirius removed his feet from Remus. "I'll pass."

"Wise choice."

The portrait-hole swung open and Sirius's head snapped up, hoping for a glimpse of Peter. No luck. It was James and Lily, hands twined together, laughing. James's hair looked like he hadn't brushed it in a year, but Lily didn't seem to care, grinning at him as though he were the funniest thing in the world. The two kissed quickly, walking towards Remus and Sirius in front of the fire.

Sirius cleared his throat, gesturing to a gaggle of third-years playing Gobstones in the corner. "Excuse me, there are children present, so can we keep this PG?"

Lily glared, swinging her hair in his face as she turned to kiss James again. "Mind your own business, Black."

"He is my business," Sirius said. "We're blood brothers. Animal brothers. Marauders. Best friends forever. No girls in the club. Sorry, Evans."

Remus sighed. "How was your walk?"

"Brilliant," James grinned. "We ran into Slughorn. He loves Lily, though. Wouldn't give her detention for the world."

"Also," Sirius interrupted, ignoring James's recitation, "speaking of animals, have you seen Wormy?"

"Wormtail?" James looked baffled. "You're right, I haven't seen him all day. Or last night, for that matter. Or…around, generally. It's like he's hiding from us."

"No, I'm sure he was here last night," Remus said. "His clothes are all strewn around his bed—"

"Yeah, like that's a big change," Sirius muttered.

James snorted. "You're one to talk."

"Yeah, but…arranged differently," Remus reasoned. "And his bed had a Peter-sized imprint in it in the morning. I'm sure he was there last night, he must have just left before sunrise."

James wiggled his eyebrows, echoing Sirius's first thoughts. "You think he's off meeting a girl?"

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look.

James narrowed his eyes. "Hold on. I know that look. What am I missing? You know something I don't."

"We're not talking about it here," Sirius announced. "Not in the middle of the common room."

James aimed a finger at Sirius. "We'll wait till it clears out. But by midnight, you'd better be ready to tell me what's going on."

"Even I'm not sure what they're talking about," Lily said. "What other secrets have you got? Been kissing in corridors lately?"

Sirius went slightly pale. Remus, however, snorted.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said calmly. "Even if I was so inclined, I could do better than Padfoot."

Sirius felt like Remus had just Stunned him right in the chest. Even James looked a little shocked. But then again, James knew what had happened. James always knew.

Lily raised an eyebrow, glancing quickly at Sirius. "Alright, then."

Remus rose to his feet, gathering his belongings. "I'm going to turn in early. I'm exhausted."

"Moony—"

But Remus was already halfway up the stairs, leaving a trail of crumpled paper behind him.

Lily, opened her mouth, closed it, shook her head, glanced at Sirius. "I'm not even going to ask."

"Yes you are."

"Well…have you been snogging in corridors?"

Sirius hesitated. "Yes. A few times. But nothing ever came of it."

"That was harsh," James said in an undertone, checking for any eavesdroppers. "D'you think he was just saying it for Lily's benefit—or he actually—meant it...? You don't think that was his way of telling you it's over…"

Sirius swallowed. 

"I think he meant it," he said hollowly.

 

............

 

By the time midnight rolled around, Sirius had told James (and by extension, Lily) the whole story, from the part about Remus kissing him in the hall to finding Peter surrounded by chanting Slytherins.

"Wow," James said. "Wow. Pads..."

"So I think Wormtail's involved in—in something—"

James waved a hand dismissively. "He didn't mean it, Sirius."

"What?"

"Remus. When he said that, he was covering up for you. He didn't mean it." James glanced at Lily, who was silently processing the information. "He might not be in love with you, but he didn't mean it."

Sirius thought of the way Remus had looked at him, the tentative kiss, the silence between them.

He definitely meant it.

"Of all the things I said, that's what you want to talk about?" Sirius shook his head. "Wormtail. Focus. On. Wormtail."

James's eyebrows drew together, dropping the subject of Sirius and Remus. "Yes, there's that. What do you suggest we do?"

"A confrontation?" Sirius stood up. "Intervention? Something needs to happen here. What do you think?"

"Well, that's why I asked you, mate." James glanced over at the portrait hole. "I don't know what we can do, except ask him where he's been."

"He might lie," Lily warned quietly.

"Wormy's a terrible liar," James said. "And why would we distrust him, anyway?" He stuck out his chin slightly, as if daring anyone to oppose him.

No one did.

"We should ask him anyway," Sirius said.

"I think that's a brilliant idea." James stood up and flung himself onto the armchair Sirius had just vacated.

"That's my chair."

"I don't see your butt touching it."

Sirius sat down, right on top of James, who howled with laughter. "I'm not getting up."

"Neither am I."

 

............

 

And so they stayed, as the hours ticked by. One. Two. At three, Lily started yawning every five minutes. At four, they were all dozing in their seats.

It was almost five when the portrait hole opened and Peter stumbled in, looking dazed.

James leapt to his feet, searching for his glasses. Sirius silently handed them to him. "Where have you been?"

"I—I just—" Peter looked terrified. "Some Slytherins—they were—"

"They were what?" James asked. "What did they do to you?"

With a mind-numbing whiplash, Sirius's perspective spun to another side of the situation. This was not a side where Peter had been sneaking around with a Slytherin cult behind the Marauders' backs. This was a side where Peter had unwillingly stumbled into the lair of sneering, hissing Slytherins who were using him for one reason or another. Slytherins who needed to be stopped.

"There's just—" Peter stammered. "They worship Lord Voldemort and—they—"

"Okay." Sirius rose. "That's it. Tomorrow morning—"

"This morning, actually, mate," James cut in.

"This morning—we're going to find them and hex them into oblivion. They won't know what hit them," Sirius snarled. "Nobody messes with the Marauders. Nobody."

Peter looked surprised. Rightly, Sirius supposed, as he wasn't much for team spirit most of the time.

"Sounds like a plan," James yawned. "And now, I am going to bed."

"Brilliant." Peter headed for the staircase, looking exhausted.

Sirius watched as James gently shook Lily to wake her up, then helped her up the staircase—until, all of a sudden, there was a loud wail, and the stairs to the girls' dormitories turned into a slick stone slide. The two tumbled down it in a tangle of hair and limbs.

Sirius was still sniggering half an hour later, when James climbed into bed and pulled the blanket over his eyes. He threw a pillow at Sirius, muffling his snickers.

"Shut up," James mumbled.

"In your dreams, Prongs."


	18. It's Okay

"We've gotten off track," Remus mused that morning as the five of them walked through the hall. "Our scorekeeper stopped keeping score, and I haven't been pranked in da—"

"Sorry, what did you say?" Sirius asked innocently as Remus glared from where he'd walked into an invisible wall. "You haven't been what?"

"Classy," Remus said dryly. "Two points."

"I deserve at least four."

"Three."

"Two and a half."

"Two and three-quarters."

"Do cease your bickering," Lily said. "It's really quite irritating."

"So what's the score, then?" Remus asked. "Wormtail? I just gave Sirius two and a half points."

"They took that paper and burned it," Peter said sadly. "But I think he and James were about even."

"Let's call it even, then," Sirius said. "Except I'm two and a half points ahead."

"Two hundred and two and a half to two hundred," Peter recited. "Got it."

Sirius snorted, tying back his messy hair. He glanced at Remus quickly, then looked away, trying not to think at all.

James checked the Marauder's Map that he was carrying (which had scandalized and then reluctantly impressed Lily that morning). "That way."

"What are we going to say to them?" Peter was bouncing on the balls of his feet, a sure sign that he was nervous.

"Come on, Wormy, it'll be fine," Sirius said. "You seriously think those Slytherin arsehats are any match for us?"

"No name-calling in front of the children," Lily called, sounding exactly like a bossy Muggle teacher.

"I'll do whatever I—"

"They're coming!" James hissed. "Split!"

Remus hauled Sirius backwards around a corner. They both pulled out their wands, ready to spring into action as soon as James gave the signal.

It didn't come, even as they heard the hiss of chanting Slytherins as they surrounded Peter.

"All hail the Dark Lord...

"All hail the Dark Lord..."

"That's horrifying," Remus breathed.

Sirius half-turned towards Remus, who was clutching the Marauder's Map. He'd wiped it blank, and now stuffed it into his bag. Still, the signal didn't come.

He turned away again, intending to peer around the corner.

"Why do you wear your hair up like that?" a soft voice asked.

Remus. Watching him curiously.

Self-consciously, Sirius felt the haphazardly tucked strands. A chunk tumbled into his eyes, obstructing his view. "I guess...it gets it out of my face," he said. "Can't wreak havoc if I can't see."

"Wait. Don't ice me out," Remus pleaded as he turned away. "I'm sorry. About what I said. I was trying to cover for you—for us—and it came out all wrong—"

"Cover for me?" Sirius snapped. "Last I checked, Remus, you were the one all over me."

"I...Sirius, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Don't talk to me about covering for me," Sirius said. "I'm...I was never against telling Prongs."

Remus squinted. "But it wasn't Prongs that asked. It was Lily."

"Same difference." Sirius tried not to turn red. "I was never against telling Lily either. Remus, that was all you."

"Would you still?"

"Would I still what, fall in love with you?" Sirius asked. "Remus, I already did. I've been in love with you since fifth year. I never stopped."

And the signal hadn't come by that point, so Remus leaned forward and coaxed the elastic out of Sirius's dark waves.

They locked eyes for a solid minute before Remus sighed in defeat and leaned forward to bring his lips to Sirius's.

"You need to stop doing that," Sirius whispered.

"What would be the fun in that?"

"Since when do you know how to have fun?"

A loud crack startled them apart.

"What—"

"The signal!" Remus hissed, diving for his fallen wand.

"Oh, shit!" Sirius launched himself into the hall, firing Stunning spells at random. One came within an inch of hitting Lily, and she glowered angrily at him as she shot a hex at one of the Slytherins.

"DUCK!" James bellowed. Sirius and Remus immediately dropped to the floor as a loud explosion echoed through the hall.

The Slytherins dropped to the floor, unconscious. Peter staggered.

"Lets go," Remus suggested.

"James," Lily hissed.

"They deserve it," James said fiercely. "Didn't you hear what they said?"

"Not a lot of it," Remus admitted as they jogged back to Gryffindor Tower.

"They've been trying to manipulate him to join the other side," James spat. "It's disgusting. As if Wormtail would ever betray us."

Peter, looking shaken, didn't join the discussion. 

............

Later, James watched as Sirius and Remus stood up and walked outside the portrait hole, deep in conversation, hands brushing slightly as they left.

He'd seen his friend's hair undone about five minute after he tied it back, and he wouldn't do that for no good reason. Something had happened there, between Sirius and Remus, and reluctant though James was to listen in, he was worried. He said as much to Lily, who looked thoughtful.

"Are either of them in danger of being hurt?" she asked.

"Padfoot might be..."

"Remus knows Padfoot better than anyone else, except maybe you. He knows better than to hurt him," Lily said. "You have to let Sirius figure this out for himself. He's your brother, but you can't help him with everything."

"You're right," James mumbled.

"I usually am." Lily scooted a bit closer and they sat together, warming their socked feet by the fire, listening to the cold wind whistle past the window.

............

It wasn't as easy as James figured, Sirius thought. He was counting on Lily giving them a few more minutes to talk.

"You need to stop kissing me and then just—" Sirius shook his head. "Reminding me that it's not going to happen. I can't deal with this. Can we pretend it never happened?"

Remus drew in a breath. "Yes," he said. "We can pretend it never happened."

"Good." Sirius was already moving for the Fat Lady, but suddenly found himself encircled in a hug. He closed his eyes briefly, letting Remus hug him, letting his familiar presence wash over him.

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered. "Sirius…I love you. I really do."

"It's okay," Sirius said. "I know. It's okay."

And by the time they rejoined their friends, it really was.


	19. Eggs Are Not Offensive

It was nearing the end of the week, of the month, and Remus was slightly on edge.

"It's almost Halloween," Marlene McKinnon informed him cheerfully as they met at the bottom of the stairs. "Perk up."

"I know," Remus snapped.

He felt awful, his head spun whenever he moved it. Sirius, usually in tune to these sorts of things, was completely oblivious. Pretending...what had happened...had never happened.

Even though it replayed in Remus's head every night.

He buried the thought, as he'd buried most of his thoughts his entire life.

He was "quiet" and "reserved".

More like, trying not to get ridiculed. Thrown out of society. Hunted down and killed.

He could hardly imagine if someone caught him and Sirius kissing. Not only would he be a werewolf, he'd be a gay werewolf. That would just be too easy.

No, better to ignore that entirely. After all, he was interested in girls too.

"I'll just have to find someone I like more than Sirius," he'd reasoned to James one day. "Can't be that difficult, with seven billion people in the world…"

But it was easier said than done. The thought seemed more difficult than all his seven years' worth of essays for all his classes.

"You could give Sirius a chance," James had suggested gently. "You're in love with him. He's in love with you."

No, finding someone else wouldn't be easy. But he could do it.

"Remus?" It was Lily, bright eyes peering up at him from under a mass of silky hair. Before he'd found out about James's undying, dramatic love for her, he'd had a slight crush on her in first year. But after studying with her a few times, he'd realized she was a great friend but a terrible romantic match for him. He was glad she and James had hit it off. Finally.

"Morning."

"You look exhausted. What's the date today?"

"December 25th," he snapped groggily. "I don't know."

"Don't you give me any of your sass, Remus John Lupin. I've done nothing to deserve it." She was already checking her homework calendar. "It's October 30th, you're welcome."

"Mmmm."

"I believe the correct response was, 'thank you, Lily. I'm glad somebody cares about my well-being.'" She snapped the calendar shut and tucked it in her bag. "Go to the hospital wing if you need to. I'll tell McGonagall."

"Yeah, I might do that," Remus said. "At the end of first class, if I need to."

"Good choice. Go eat something," Lily said. "Food is what you need."

Remus nodded sleepily, unwilling to force out any more words, and stumbled down to the Great Hall.

............

"Great Merlin, he's a mess," James said. "Oh, there's Lily."

Sirius ignored the part about Lily, staring at Remus. He looked like he was dying, honestly. But then again, he did this time every month.

"Morning," he said carefully, attempting a casual tone. Remus glared daggers.

Lily slid in next to James, nudging Remus with her elbow. "Aren't you going to say good morning, Remus?"

Remus murmured something uncomplimentary. "I have a lot of things to say, and none of them are 'good morning.'"

"That's not very nice, Moony," Sirius chided, spooning scrambled eggs onto his plate.

"I'm not eating anything," Remus said.

"You are if I say you are," Sirius told him. "Eggs. Eggs are not offensive. Eggs will not kill you. Have some eggs."

"Merlin." Remus took the tiniest bite, then immediately dropped his fork. "No."

Sirius sighed. "Go back to bed," he said. "If anyone has a problem with it, I'll fight them."

"No, you won't," Remus mumbled, ever Sirius's common sense. "I'm going up to the hospital wing.

"Sounds like a plan." Sirius gave him a big thumbs-up.

"James will cover your patrol today," Lily called after him.

"Why James?" Sirius grumbled. "Why not me?"

"Or me?" Peter plopped down in Remus's recently vacated seat.

"Because James is Head Boy," Lily said.

"Oh?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. Lily, thankfully, was not paying attention.

"And as if you'd be responsible enough, anyway," Lily continued.

Sirius flailed an arm dramatically. "Me? Responsible? I am very responsible. You can't tell me that James is more responsible than I."

"Yeah, responsible for half the casualties in this castle," Lily muttered.

Sirius scoffed. "Nonsense."

Lily stood up, gathering her books. "I've got a free, James. I'll see you in Transfiguration."

"Wait." James scrambled to his feet, leaning in to kiss her. She set her books on the table, seemingly oblivious to the fact that her abandoned eggs were soaking into her History of Magic text.

"PDA," Sirius rasped, faking a coughing fit. Peter giggled.

"Oh, shut up, Sirius," Lily snapped, gathering her egged book and striding out of the hall.

"Enjoy your breakfast to go!" Sirius shouted. Lily hurled the bit of egg at him.

"D'you mind not antagonizing my girlfriend?" James drawled, sitting down again.

Sirius pretended to consider the question. "Mate, I think a girl like her needs a bit of antagonizing once in a while."

James snorted. "So, are we doing the pranks today?"

"Oh, that's right," Peter said. "The pumpkins!"

"If only Remus was well enough to help us," Sirius mumbled.

James glanced at him. "You okay?" he mouthed. Sirius nodded.

"Astronomy," Peter announced. "Shall we get to the tower?"

"You go ahead," Sirius said. "I'm going to the hospital wing."

"Padfoot," James groaned.

"I'm going, and you can't stop me," Sirius announced, pushing back his chair. "Or I'll be sitting around, worried, all day. You know me."

"Yeah, stop chugging the amortentia, hmm?" James whispered, a wicked twinkle in his eyes.

"Prongs, he is family. I'm pretty sure we swore a blood oath in third or fourth year. It's non-negotiable. I'm going over there." Sirius swept out the door in a flounce of Gryffindor robes.

James sighed and dropped his head onto the table. "This won't end well."

Peter swiveled his head back and forth, trying to read James and Lily's expressions. "What did I miss?"


	20. Paper Cut

"Excuse me!"

Madam Pomfrey, looking utterly scandalized, swept in front of Sirius, blocking his entry. "I cannot let you in—"

"I have an injury, see?" Sirius held up his hand, upon which a tiny drop of blood gleamed from a paper cut. "I must lie down."

"That does not require—"

Sirius ambled over to the bed next to Remus's. "Madam Pomfrey, we all know how this will end."

"Oh, very well," she snapped. "One hour. Then back to class with you."

And hissing obscenities under her breath, she disappeared into her chambers.

Remus cracked an eyelid. "You are the most stubborn—"

"—and wonderful human. I know," Sirius smiled. "But I'll be sitting there, worried, if I don't come and see you."

Remus's scarred lips twitched into a small smile. "I'm sorry, I've been vile all morning."

"You have. But it's all right." Sirius slid off his bed and perched on the edge of Remus's. "I know how you get at this time of the month."

Like clockwork, Madam Pomfrey's head popped out the door. "Get into your own bed," she snarled. "Or go back to class."

Sirius retreated into his own bed, but as soon as she was gone, he pushed his bed next to Remus's.

"Sirius," Remus protested, but it turned into a yawn.

"You're tired," Sirius said, kicking off his shoes and flopping onto the bed. He rolled to face Remus. "Go to sleep, Moony."

"It's not every day I get to lie here and stare at you." Remus turned scarlet. "Wow. That was definitely breaking our deal. Forget that slipped out."

Sirius smiled. One hand involuntarily reached up to stroke Remus's hair, which blurred into his face, and his neck, and without bothering to check if Madam Pomfrey was watching, Sirius's lips were on Remus's, and they were pressed together on the slight gap between the stiff, lumpy hospital wing beds.

"You idiot," Remus mumbled. Sirius waited to see if he'd roll away, but he didn't.

"I love you," Sirius whispered. "I don't care if I never kiss you again, I need you to know that I love you."

"Sirius..."

The tiniest creak from the door sent them flying apart. But it was just a slight breeze, and they chuckled as the curtains blew in the wind.

"I love you too, you know," Remus said sleepily.

Later, Madam Pomfrey found them curled up together, both of them fast asleep, with Sirius's head on Remus's shoulder.

............

"I hope everything's okay," James said anxiously. "He's usually back by now."

"He's probably asleep. Or they're making out," Lily said matter-of-factly, giving her cauldron six stirs counterclockwise and adding a spoonful of Wartcap powder. "Merlin, this stuff is gross."

"Brilliant as always, Miss Evans," Slughorn smiled as he passed by, glancing into her cauldron. As soon as he was out of earshot, James turned to Lily.

"They are not making out."

"You don't know that." Lily switched her stirring direction.

"But Sirius said—"

"Yeah, Sirius says a lot of things," Lily told him. "Trust me, it isn't over."

"He said it was," James mumbled.

Lily sighed. "I feel bad for Remus, you know," she said. "Obviously he's got a reason he doesn't want to be in a relationship with Sirius, and he's got this emotional burden on top of his usual ones. I almost wish Sirius would stop visiting Remus in the hospital wing if I didn't know that Remus wanted him there."

"Are you joking? Sirius would be ripping the room apart right now, either as Snuffles or not." James checked for eavesdroppers, but everyone was engaged in conversation. "He needs Moony."

Lily gave a little hum. "I hope everything ends up okay."

James snorted.

"What?" Lily glanced up at him.

"Why Moony?" James asked. "I always thought out of any of us, Sirius might fancy me."

Lily burst out laughing. "James Potter, you are the most ridiculous, egocentric person I have ever met."

"He's all stringy—and—"

"You didn't just call Remus Lupin stringy," Lily said.

"He is! He's all stringy and wiry."

Lily shook her head, her red mane coming out of its careful ponytail. "Oh, that's perfect," she grumbled, attempting to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear with her wrist, not wanting Wartcap powder in her hair.

"Here." James stepped forward and gathered her hair into a simple braid, securing it with a twist tie summoned from the next table.

"Thanks." Lily kissed him quickly, checking to make sure Slughorn wasn't watching. "So, during lunch, we collect Sirius and get moving with the prank?"

"And with any luck, Moony will be able to join us," James said. "Imagine, having you and Moony with us. We can accomplish anything."

Lily laughed. "You have so much faith in me. It's quite flattering, actually."

"Hey," Peter complained from the next table, where Marlene,, next to him, was raising an eyebrow at the pair. "Do me a favor and stop flirting over there, I'm trying to make a potion."


	21. The Other Half of Me

"Oi, Padfoot!"

Sirius cracked an eyelid as James Potter came bearing down on him, surrounded by Lily and Peter.

"What are you doing?" he hissed, noticing the two boys curled together on the hospital wing cot.

"It's fine," Sirius said. "Don't wake up Moony, he needs his sleep."

"I'm already awake," Remus mumbled drowsily. "And I wish I wasn't. What'd you lot have to come in here for? Sirius and I were sleeping."

"To get Pads, and hopefully you. We can't do the prank with only two Marauders and Evans."

"You'll be just fine." Remus tightened his arm around Sirius's shoulders, pulling him in closer. James looked concerned. Lily looked away with a slightly smug expression.

"Come on," Peter pleaded. "After its done, you can come right back here and sleep all you want. We need you, Moony."

Remus sighed, surrendering. "Fine. Fine. But you all have to drag my carcass around the halls. I'm too exhausted to think for myself."

"You and Sirius can have the Invisibility Cloak for today," Lily told them, giving James a stern look when he opened his mouth to protest. "No sense in you getting in trouble."

James nodded. "Okay. Moony and Padfoot, you do the pumpkins. Wormtail, Lily and I will handle the doors. Lily, Moony, remember the charm, and the timer charm goes off in twenty-four hours for the pumpkins and twelve for the doors." He surveyed all of them. "Got it?"

"Merlin, Prongs," Sirius muttered.

"This is our last Pranktober, ever! I want to do this right." He tossed a bundle of flowing, silvery fabric to Sirius, who shook it open to reveal James's Invisibility Cloak.

"Then let's go," Remus said, stretching his long limbs and rolling off the bed. He stood up and extended a hand to Sirius, who took it, stumbling into Remus as he got up.

James gave a stiff nod, eyeing them carefully. "Let's go."

............

"That didn't take long."

"We should probably go find Prongs or Lily," Sirius said reluctantly, unwilling to relinquish his moment with Remus. "Find out what the deal is for the doors. Fix whatever Wormy messed up."

"Hold on," Remus said. "I need to sit for a second, or I might pass out."

He did look pale, under the cloak. "Are you okay?" Sirius looped an arm around him, searching for a seat.

"Fresh air wouldn't be the worst thing," Remus breathed.

They were closest to the front doors, Sirius calculated. He turned them down a left corridor and hurriedly propelled Remus along with him.

It was midday, but streaky clouds had turned the sky a grayish pink in a very Halloweeny fashion. The air was cold, biting into their faces. Sirius whipped off the cloak as the door shut behind them and tucked it into his pocket.

"Thanks," Remus mumbled, half-collapsing onto the steps. Sirius sat down next to him, letting Remus rest his head on his shoulder. He had to slouch quite a bit to reach Sirius's height of 5'9, but he seemed too tired to care, letting Sirius's hair fall in his eyes.

"Prongs..." he started. "Prongs probably thinks we're..."

"Together? I know," Remus said. "I saw his face. He doesn't know what's going on."

"But you don't want him to think we're together." It was a question, and Remus knew it.

"James knows I'm not ready for a relationship."

"And yet you keep kissing me," Sirius muttered. "And…you keep acting like we're together.

"You're not exactly blameless there."

"Remus, we wouldn't have to tell a soul," Sirius said. 

"I can only keep so many secrets," Remus said wearily. "Sirius..."

"You love me."

"I don't just love you. I am in love with you. I am unquestionably, ridiculously in love with you." He wasn't looking at Sirius anymore, but at the trees in the distance. "But no matter how many times we talk about it, no matter how honest with each other we are, it's all the same at the end of the day."

Sirius was silent, staring at the ground.

"And yet...I can't make it through my life without you." Remus's hand found Sirius's, linked with it. "I promise you, that once we're out of school, once we're really out in our lives, we can start over. We can try again."

"Only one more year, then?" Sirius gave him a small smile.

"Give it a few," Remus scoffed. "We have the entire rest of our lives."

"And I want to spend mine with you."

They watched the sun break free of the clouds, thinking about the future, waiting for it to start.

............

They missed their next class. And the one after that. They were under the Gryffindor bleachers on the Quidditch field with a book, and Sirius was reading to Remus, and Remus was lying on the damp grass, watching his face with every word.

"...you are the better, other half of me," Sirius read, lying face-up, holding the book above him, "and I care about you more than I care about myself."

Remus smiled. "I still think he's in love with him."

Sirius snorted and set down the book, glancing at Remus. "Even though they're practically brothers? They swore a vow to be only platonic forever, you know. Kind of like the four of us. Except we didn't exactly keep that, did we?"

"Keep reading," Remus instructed without answering the question. "I want to know what happens next."

So Sirius picked up the book and continued where he had left off, scanning the page to find his place.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize how much you were hurting," he read quietly. "I didn't see it then, but I see it now."

"I'm not anymore," Remus whispered.

Sirius smiled, and it was like watching a dark night transform into the sun breaking over the hills. "I'm glad."


	22. Halloween

"I can't believe we're missing the Halloween feast," Peter grumped the next morning as the five headed down for breakfast. They counted half an hour until their charm on the doors went into effect, and the pumpkin trick wouldn't work until lunch.

"It's for Moony," Sirius replied cheerfully. "Moral support."

James squinted. "You're happier than usual. What's gotten into you? And where were you and Moony yesterday?"

"I told you, we were just hanging out on the bleachers," Remus said calmly.

"More like making out," Lily muttered.

"Well, yes, that too," Remus amended.

James gasped. Peter shrieked. Lily stifled a smirk.

"He speaks only truth," Sirius said.

"So...are you two...a thing now?" James's hazel eyes flicked from one to the other. "Like, actually this time?"

"No," Sirius said, with an air of mock annoyance. "We are not. Nothing's changed."

James squinted. Peter's head was bobbing every direction as he tried to read everyone's expressions at once.

"Eggs?" Lily broke the tension as they approached the table.

"Explain this to me," James said. "You two are snogging whenever we turn our backs—and sometimes when we don't—and yet you're not together."

"Padfoot and I talked about it, and I don't think it's anyone's business but ours," Remus said decisively. 

"It's not like we're going to tell anyone," James said. "It's not like we're going to get involved—"

"We're not dating, Prongs," Sirius told him. "Remus doesn't want a relationship. I think he has every reason—"

"You keep snogging Sirius and expect him to be okay with that?" James said sharply.

Remus slammed a hand on the table. "It is not your place to say anything about what Sirius is okay with!"

"You usually have more sense than this," James said furiously.

"You don't even know what was said!"

"Then tell me," James ground out.

"Stop." Lily glanced between them both. "It's none of your business, James."

"I'm going to class." Remus stood up and marched out of the Great Hall—

—only to collide with the air. He toppled backwards a bit, then felt for the handle and shoved the door open.

"That went into effect earlier than expected," James said, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry." Peter's cheeks were bright pink. "I did that door."

"I'm going to find Moony," Sirius said, pushing his chair back and standing up from the table.

"Wait." James stood up and grabbed the sleeve of his robes. "Just tell me you aren't heartbroken. Tell me either there's something permanent between you two, a commitment, and he's not just leaving you hanging, or tell me that you've broken it off for good."

Sirius hesitated. "There's nothing," he said. "We just kissed a few times, but that's it, James. We're not together. There's nothing going on. And no, it doesn't bother me."

James sighed. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I know." Sirius hesitated. "James, it really isn't…any of your business. But it might not be over."

"Padfoot…"

Sirius lowered his voice. "I'm in love with him."

"Padfoot."

"He's in love with me."

"Pad. Foot."

"Merlin, keep your voice down," Sirius said. "Look, we agreed to wait a while. But this isn't the end." He smiled slightly. "I don't think it will ever be the end."

James hesitated.

"Be careful," he said. "If you break, I'll pick up the pieces, like always. But try not to do that this time."

Sirius nodded, swung his bag over his shoulder, and dashed off, presumably in search of Remus.

James turned to Lily. "Well?"

Lily, daintily picking at her eggs, glanced over at him. Her red hair was pulled loosely back in a scarlet bow. "Well, what?"

"What do you think?"

"I think they're smart, waiting to date until they're adults." She forked a bite of eggs. "Or at least, well out of school."

"You're way too intuitive," Peter said.

She gave him a sidelong look that wasn't exactly friendly. "You bet I am."

"Do you think they'll be okay?" James asked.

Lily chewed thoughtfully, then looked at the ceiling. "I don't know if any of us will be okay."

............

"Remus?"

"I can feel it," Remus whispered. "I can feel it—it's like the wolf is scraping at my bones."

"Remus..."

He was huddled in the corner of the dungeon, gasping slightly.

"This is the worst part of it," he said. "Even worse than tomorrow. The part that makes me want to rip off my own skin."

Sirius dropped to the floor beside him. "Is there...is there anything I can do...?"

"Just stay with me for a while," Remus breathed. His hair hung in his face and his eyes were closed against the onslaught of the wolf.

So Sirius wrapped his arms around him and stayed there for hours.

............

When they re-emerged, it was lunchtime, and Professor McGonagall was heading their way, eyes gleaming.

"Frick," Sirius whispered. "Hi...Professor."

"Whe—"

"OOHHHH, COME AND STIR MY CAULDRON, AND IF YOU DO IT RIGHT—"

A burst of laughter echoed through the hall as an armada of bouncing jack-o-lanterns surrounded Professor McGonagall, mouths wide open in song.

"—I'LL BOIL YOU UP SOME HOT STRONG LOVE, TO KEEP ME WARM TONIGHT—"

McGonagall glared daggers. "Is this what you do when you skip class, Mr. Black?"

"No, Professor, that was during my lunch period," Sirius said honestly.

"He's been with me," Remus cut in. "I...I asked him to stay with me."

McGonagall sighed. "Tomorrow," she said to Sirius. "Tomorrow I will expect you to be in all your classes—"

"Tomorrow's Saturday, Professor," Sirius said, straight-faced. "I couldn't possibly."

McGonagall threw up her hands and stalked away. The pumpkins, still wailing the chorus, drifted along behind her.

Remus laughed quietly. "I really thought you were going to get detention."

"Oh, shut up," Sirius whispered. "Is anyone looking?"

"They followed the pumpkin brigade," Remus said.

Sirius stood on his tiptoes and leaned forward. It was a brief kiss, full of hopes and promises, and they walked down the hall together to find their friends.

............

A full moon gleamed in the night sky.

Inside a ramshackle wooden structure, four animals ran free.

One was a tiny rat, skittering around the corners of the room, taking care to avoid the feet of the others.

One was a giant stag, prancing gaily around the space, huffing every time a cold breeze filtered in through the cracks in the walls.

One was a large werewolf, howling and clawing at the walls, every so often laying down for a bit and sniffing around at his companions.

And the last was a huge black dog, who lay next to the werewolf every time he settled, ever watchful, ever careful. 

And inside the Great Hall, as students chattered eagerly about the haunted Shrieking Shack, and many made claims to know exactly what the monster inside it was, a red-haired girl just smiled and sipped her pumpkin juice.


	23. Epilogue—Four Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the original version of this chapter offered a realistic, canonical telling of events that happened four years later
> 
> but i'm tired of the heart-wrenching endings
> 
> for christ's sake, let's have a little lightness

FOUR YEARS LATER

 

Remus Lupin stood alone in his kitchen. Sirius hadn't been home in weeks, and neither had Peter. He wasn't really worried, he knew they'd been staying at Alastor's, but all the same he missed them terribly.

He planned to propose to Sirius as soon as he got home, which was supposed to be tonight. They'd never officially started dating, and they'd never told James and Lily, and Peter was the most unobservant roommate in the history of the world, but it was time.

He picked up the last letter he'd gotten from Lily, sixteen days ago.

R, S, P-  
Don't come for Halloween. It's not safe right now. James and Harry send their love, but we'll see you three another time.   
P.S. James says he'll talk to Dumbledore about Sirius's note. It's not ideal, but if Sirius thinks it's safest, I trust him.   
-L

Remus sighed and dropped the note onto the counter, looking out the window. Watching. Waiting. 

No one came.

And he knew something was terribly wrong.

............

"It's Halloween," Lily murmured to her one-year-old son.

"Ha-ween," Harry said with absolute conviction.

"Harry-ween."

Harry giggled, smashing his fist into the bowl of pumpkin pulp. Lily tried to pry the sticky mess from his fingers, to no avail.

"Why don't you take Harry up to bed?" James suggested. "I'll clean up here."

"Thanks," Lily said.

She was halfway up the stairs when James shouted.

"James?"

There was no response.

"JAMES!"

For a brief moment, she imagined the sound of the door flying open. Of James's body hitting the floor. 

"Dropped my glasses," he said finally. "Bloody cat."

Lily let out a sigh of relief, washing Harry's hands and setting him down in his crib. She pulled the elastic out of her hair and ran down the stairs to join James in the kitchen.

"It's entirely too dark in here," she said, flipping on the kitchen light. "Did you put the sign on the door?"

"Do you really think Voldemort's going to ring the doorbell as a trick-or-treater, Lily? Don't be ridiculous. But yes, I put the sign up."

"I'm just scared," she whispered. "It could happen any moment, James."

"I know." He pulled her in, thin arms winding around her as her face rested in his shoulder. "We'll be okay. So will Harry. We'll all be okay."

…

The door opened, and Remus jumped up from where he'd been sitting at the counter.

"I didn't do it," Sirius said. "I didn't do it."

"You didn't…make Wormtail the Secret-Keeper?" Remus asked. "Why not?"

"I don't trust him. James is my best friend, and I don't trust Peter." Sirius tossed his jacket over a chair. "I need to sleep."

"Wait. Sirius. Before you go." Remus took a deep breath. "I have something to ask you."

"You're not going to ask I make you the Secret-Keeper, are you?" Sirius asked wryly.

"Merlin. No. Just…" Remus slid the ring out of his pocket. "I'm not going to make a big ceremony about this," he said quietly. "I just wanted to…"

"Oh," Sirius said softly.

"I love you." Remus's eyes dropped to the floor. "I don't have anything else to say for myself, except that I love you, and I will never stop loving you, and I still have a foolish hope that you still love me the same way you did when we were seventeen."

"I don't love you the same way I did when we were seventeen."

Remus's heart sank. "Of course not," he said. "I understand."

"I love you more. I've loved you more every second I've known you." Sirius's hand shot out and caught Remus's. "If you're serious…"

Remus bit his lip. "I'm not serious."

"You—" 

"I'm Remus."

Sirius grabbed Remus and wrapped his arms around him. The two stood, in the middle of the kitchen, at 9 PM, on Halloween night, surrounded only by candles and each other, breathing each other in, facing the rest of their lives together, no matter how much longer they would be.

"I love you," Sirius whispered. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

"I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me on tumblr @ saltylexa (during october, sp00kylexa)

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @natblid-a


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